Page 77 of Samuel

“Derrick’s in town. I asked him for a ride back to the ranch. I’m just waiting for him to reply.”

Like hell was he going to let Evie leave with another man.

“You’re not going back to the ranch with Derrick.”

“You don’t get to hold me hostage here, Sam.”

“Yell at me.” He shut his eyes, letting the words come out no louder than a whisper.

“What? No.”

“Yes. Yell at me. Tell me I’m a bastard for keeping this from you. But don’t just leave. Don’t stop talking to me. Let me fix this.”

“Fix something built on incomplete truths?” she scoffed. “I’m not going to yell at you when you have a heart condition, Samuel. One that, from the sounds of it, is very serious. I’d just like to go back to the ranch now, please.”

“Evie…”

“You don’t have any idea, do you?” she whimpered.

“I—”

“You don’t see how humiliating that was for me. The only person without all the information. You know, that first time Sylvie invited me to dinner, Abby asked her how muchsalt she put in the meat. Saying something about how it wasn’t good for ‘his heart’. I was so worried about John. God, I’m such a fool.”

Sam sat back, hating the pain that washed over Evie’s stunning features.

“All my life, I’ve been the girl who goes out of her way to make everyone a priority. But I’m never the priority, because I’m not worthy of that. Who would ever pickme? I mean, I had to go and get pregnant on my own. If that doesn’t screamforever aloneI don’t know what would.”

She swiped at a tear. He wanted to stop her there. To kiss those tears off her face and promise to never be the cause of any more. But he couldn’t. Sam knew she needed to get through whatever she was about to say.

“I’m finally okay with being all alone in life. I finally decide to make my dreams come true on my own and then my world falls apart. I lost my job. My reputation is destroyed. I get this insane idea to move to Texas, where this cranky cowboy hires me and… surprise! He warms up to me. I hate being vulnerable. I hate relying on other people, but I lean into it with him. For once in my life, I let him treat me like I’m precious. Like I’m a treasure. Like I’m something breakable. Itrusthim with things I’ve never told another soul. I start to give him my heart.”

Her voice shook as she continued. “Except, come to find out, I could have literally stopped his. I could have killed him every time he swept me up into his arms. Because he kept a secret from me. Just like my parents did.”

The cold slap of her words poured over him. Fuck, he felt like the biggest asshole in the world. Of course, he’d seen the parallels between what Evie’s parents had done and what he was hiding, but he was selfish. He just wanted one person in his life to treat him the way the world saw him before his heart changed everything.

“Do you know how embarrassing it was to hear your sistergaspwhen I mentioned you like to carry me? Shegaspedlike it was the most horrific thing she’d ever heard.Youcarryingme.”

“Evie. No. No. That isn’t?—”

“Yes, Sam.” The tears that had been sparkling in her eyes since she started speaking broke free, and he had to fight the urge to try and wipe them from her face. “God. We hadsex! I could have killed you then, too.”

She was spiraling, burying her face in her hands with the embarrassment and shame that he deserved to be carrying. Not her.

“I’ll tell you everything about my heart, but you have to promise not to ever talk that way about yourself again. Never, Evie. You are precious. You are breakable. You are a treasure. I want you as my partner. I want you to know you are safe to be vulnerable around me. I fucked up because of my own issues. Because I didn’t want to be seen as weak, or lacking. None of this was because of you.”

“I clearly thought ‘moving towards forever’ meant something different.”

He swallowed down his nerves. “You and the baby are so important to me.”

She shook her head. “I’m such a fool for thinking it would ever be different for me. For us. I’m just a fool…”

His hands moved to frame her face. They were shaking with the rage he felt at himself for hurting her so deeply. There was no part of him that ever wanted to be the reason why tears were in her eyes.

“You’re not a fool because I was a coward. Let me make this as clear as I can, Bluebell. Carrying you has never been a problem. My sister’s overreaction is her own issue. I’ve been cleared for every normal activity in my life. Every. Single. One. So don’t sit there for a second and think me carrying you was ever putting my life at risk. That having the best fucking sex ofmy life was ever a threat to my health. It wasn’t. I’ve never even been a lick out of breath from the physical exertion. Out of breath because you’re so goddamn beautiful? Yes. Out of breath because you let me feel Jellybean kick and wiggle in your belly and it’s the most special thing I’ve ever experienced before?” He nodded, the truth in his words searing into his mind. “Out of breath because you and I were moving towards something exciting and beautiful? Something that made me want to get out of bed in the morning? Absolutely.”

“We can’t ever do that again. I don’t want…” She moved and winced, her hand rubbing over her belly. Sam placed his hand over top of hers.

“Is it Jellybean?”

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