Evie woke to strong arms holding her. Her back pressed against Sam’s chest, his hands placed over the baby. At first, she thought Jellybean must have woken her, but it only took a few seconds to realize that wasn’t the case. Sam’s breathing was fast, and jagged. His arms pulled her impossibly closer to him, as if he was afraid she was about to disappear right in front of him.
“Sam?”
He didn’t answer, but she felt the way his body stiffened at the realization that she was awake.
“Talk to me, Cowboy. What’s wrong? Why aren’t you asleep?”
“I could have lost both of you today. I know Garrett’s in custody but I need to… I need to watch over you. I need to feel her moving.” His voice strained, and Evie felt a sympathetic ache fill her own chest. She licked her lips, trying to find the words to reassure him. Her hand covered his and she willed the baby to move. It was something that always seemed to ground him. To calm him when his mind was moving too fast.
“But you didn’t lose us. We’re here, and we’re okay. More than okay after that shower.”
It was a poor attempt at trying to lighten the mood, and she knew it.
A kiss landed on the top of her head, warm and tender and filled with a thousand promises. That wasn’t what broke herat that moment, though. No. It was the wetness that landed on her shoulder.
For a moment, she thought that maybe she had begun to cry. But when she tipped her head up and looked at the strongest man she’d ever known, she realized the tears weren’t from her. In an instant, Evie’s heart cracked wide open.
“I’m so sorry, Evie. I’m so sorry.” Sam’s tears filled his eyes so that the blue azure shade she’s come to love so completely turned into oceans of pain. He lifted his hand to swipe at his eyes, and she hated how embarrassed he looked as his hand moved away.
Evie pressed her lips against his.
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for, my love. Not one single thing.”
“What if I hadn’t found you in time?” he choked out. “What if something happened to her?” His hand pressed possessively against her belly. “All because he wanted this land. This land that I never wanted to have to take care of.”
“Sam.”
“I won’t forgive myself for leaving you in that office alone. I can’t. After everything. After I failed to keep you safe in the bar. I failed to keep you safe in your apartment. All I’ve done is fail you, Bluebell. You can’t ask me to forgive myself for that.”
“You can and you will,” she said sharply. There was no room for debate in the fierceness of her voice. Evie rolled so her face snuggled into Sam’s chest, and her belly rested against the hard wall of his abs. Her hand reached up and swiped at the tears that were falling down his face. “You didn’t leave me alone. Your sister was there. You did everything you could to keep me safe.”
“I shouldn’t be crying. It’s fucking weak. I should be keeping it all together, for you, and for the baby. For my family. But I can’t. I just keep seeing you laying in that field. I thought you were gone, Evie. I thoughtyou were gone.”
“I know just how strong you are, Samuel Cooper. I know. So you just let it go.” Her plea was drenched in sorrow. “I’m going to stay here with my arms wrapped around you and you’re going to let everything out that you’ve been holding in. Not just about me and the baby, and what happened today. But for your heart, and all that changed when you went through everything with your health.” Her fingers traced along the scar on his chest. “And for your dad. For everything that went along with losing him. Giving up your dreams and having to make this ranch work for your mom, and your sister, and to honor all of your memories of him. Youdo nothave to always be the strong one in this relationship. It’s give and take. Right now, I’m going to give you my strength, and you’re going to take it.”
“Evelyn…”
“Even the toughest cowboys, the ones forged from the same iron as their cattle brands, cry, Sam. And that’s okay.”
She laid her head against his chest and traced soothing circles above his heart. His lips pressed to her temple as he wrapped his arms tighter around her. And he cried. She didn’t say anything else. She was just there for him, like he’d been there for her so many times before.
She just let him cry.
She’d let him cry. Held him and let him release every pent up emotion he’d been shoving down since he watched his dad pass away. It was one of the greatest gifts he’d ever received.
Sam hadn’t cried like that in years. Not when he’d buried his father. Not when he sat in the office and realized just how awful the ranch was performing. He’d only let a tear or two slip down his face when his sister was attacked, knowing how important it was to be strong for his mom, and then for Abby.He hadn’t even cried when he woke up in the hospital, disoriented and confused about why people were telling him it was a miracle he was still there.
“Don’t ever let it build up like that again. You hear me?”
“Yes ma’am.” He let his head tip, pressing his lips to her cherry-red nose. “I’m sorr-”
Sam’s apology was cut off as Evie pressed her lips against his. It wasn’t soft, or filled with pity. It was possessive. Needy. Filled with strength and desire. She bit down on his bottom lip, the pressure scorching his skin.
When she pulled away, the most beautiful smile filled her face. “I love you, Sam. I love you when you’re being protective. When you shelter me, and handle me like I’m the most precious thing in this whole world. But what we shared just now, that vulnerability you finally let me see? I just don’t think I could ever love you more than I do at this moment. Out there, you be as strong as you think you need to be. Out there, you can be one of those cowboys filled with iron. But here, with me, you never shoulder all of that on your own again.”
Sam didn’t know what to say. He’d never wanted to show the part of himself that held so much doubt, so much sadness for the dreams he’d let go of. But it had been pushing to the surface for months. From the minute Evie demanded he let her stay and work on the ranch. Since she shared about her parents, and her babies, and the way her life hadn’t gone as she’d expected it to.
Evelyn was his perfect match. The sunrise to his sunset. The warm summer breeze to his hurricane. The pickle to his peanut butter sandwich. That last example might only work for the heavily pregnant woman snuggled into his side, but it was still the truth.