Page 3 of Heart's Keeper

"I missed this," she said softly. "With how little time we had together on Jara..."

Xerus' face came down and brushed against the side of her head. His hands rose and gripped her shoulders gently. "I understand entirely. It was difficult, with everything that happened."

Lana kept still for a long moment, then rose her head to look up at him with concern. "I wanted to talk to you about that." Her hands slipped to his back, rubbing gently. "You seemed distant when we left."

Xerus tilted his head as he eyed her. "Did I?"

Lana nodded. "Did it bother you?"

"Did what?"

"You know...what we witnessed...with the Jaras."

Xerus' eyes flickered over her. He lifted his hand to brush a knuckle across her jaw. "No, kissala, it did not. It was what they wished. We did what we could for them, and I am content to know our mission was completed to the best of our ability. Even if it was not how we would have imagined it to end." His hand rested between her neck and shoulder, and he caught her eyes once more. "Now, I am only content to be home with you, Risa."

Lana gave him a small smile though she was still uncertain. "I am happy to know it." Her smile dropped. "But you would tell me if something was bothering you."

"Of course."

"And there's nothing?"

Xerus seemed to think it over, then said, "I admit I have had...moments of restlessness. But I cannot place their motive or reasoning. There are thoughts that wander; urges for something I can't grasp. But it is hard to say what they are or why. I feel a pull, a need for something I cannot see. It is confusing." He tilted his head in a shrug. "It is likely due to being away for so long. Perhaps I yearned for home more than I thought." His eyes brightened as his hand slipped under her chin, forcing her head up. "Craved to be here with you and not having that moment has made me...tense."

Lana studied his expression and knew he was being honest. Still, she worried, but she let the uneasiness go and slipped her arms around his waist to press her hips against him, feeling his wonderful heat.

A low rumble settled in his chest.

"And what of you?" he said. "Tell me, my queen, what troubles you?"

Lana let out another slow breath. "I ...I guess I'm just upset about the Jaras. I didn't want to witness them losing themselves like that. It felt like...giving up."

Xerus grunted. "Or letting go and accepting the inevitable."

"There must have been another way. Something we could have done."

Xerus shook his head. "I don't think so. Not anything we could have found in time. But eventually, they will learn to cope. Learn to survive."

"I would never want to go through that," Lana said honestly. "I would rather die than go through that."

"You will never have to worry about such a thing."

"You're right. Perhaps in a few thousand years when humans evolve into some other form, then we will have to worry. Unless..." Lana shivered, as memories suddenly flooded her mind. "Unless something like Spectre came back..."

Xerus' expression went dark. "Even if something did, I would never allow it to take you from me. You would never be lost to me like that. Not ever." He nearly hissed. The parasite was always a delicate subject for him, and Lana tried to be careful when bringing it back up. Right now, she wasn't doing the best job, but her worries made it difficult not to talk about it.

"What about you?" Lana said. "You don't think there is anything that could ever control you or the others?"

Xerus' hand fell to rest against her throat, and his mouth twitched in that amusing sort of way. "No. We are not so easily controlled, as you well know."

Lana's eyes fell from his. "But there is always the possibility of something...something we didn't see or never even imagined."

Xerus' hand slipped around the back of her neck, rubbing gently. "What is it you fear?"

Everything, Lana thought. Anything that would take you from me.She didn't voice her thoughts, but they spoke in her mind with alarming clarity, making her stomach twist. Why, after everything, did she feel so wary? They had many other missions before but this one left her realizing just how easy everything could change.

Lana glanced up at him and smiled. "I'm not afraid. If I'm with you, I have no reason to be."

Xerus nodded in agreement.

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