Page 59 of Shadow's Chosen

"You've come around at last, as I knew you would, shadowstalker," Modella said as she ground some kind of strong-smelling plant in a bowl. She did not look up at him, and he wondered how she knew he was there. "But you are pained. Is your woman not faring well? I was told she had recovered, and I know my medicines to be strong."

Nezka took a moment to turn over her words before saying, "She is well, thank you."

Modella grunted as she continued to turn her bowl. "Then tell me what troubles you. What is it you fear?"

Though curious about her powerful insight, Nezka did not ask how she knew his emotions. He remained silent, uncertain whether he cared to tell her.

"You are not one of those Red Blades, it's true. Worik knew too, which is why he let you in here," Modella said when he didn't respond.

"And where is here exactly?" Nezka asked. "Because judging by the map, there is nothing here. The wall is an illusion, and something tells me those above see something completely different from below."

"It is true," Modella answered. "This is a sanctuary. It used to be a gathering for many. When the gangs and their leaders began to overtake the undercity, destroying everything in their wake, we made the choice to hide. To protect this sacred place. A place once made for those to find peace and hope. Those who are still in need may enter, and those who seek to harm may not."

Nezka could have guessed well enough by the ancient look of the place and the robed men and women who inhabited it, reminding him of the oracles from Xolis.

"So, enough trying to escape the question," Modella said as she set her bowl aside and picked up another.

"What question?"

Modella glanced up at him and gave him a fed-up sort of look. "What do you fear?"

Nezka fixed his gaze with hers. "Nothing."

"Don't try that lie with me. It won't work." Modella waved her mixing tool at him. "You have that human with you, and I see the way you look at her. But you fear to lose her. You fear that she will see you for who you really are." Modella went back to her bowl. "You are not a Red Blade. But you are like them. Tell me I am wrong."

"No," Nezka said in a low voice. "You're not wrong."

"So, you come from far away, a lone beast hunting by its master’s orders. You caught your prey, but you find yourself unwilling to give it up. Am I wrong?"

"No."

Modella glanced back up and smiled. "You don't have to be the monster your master has carved you into. But you will have to decide in the end what you want to be. The hero or the villain." She set her bowl aside and wiped her hands on her robe. "She will find out, you know. She will see what you truly are. And you will have to decide."

Nezka kept still, not breaking from the shadows where he stood. "Tell me," he said at last.

"You will lose her as you fear. She will either turn from you when she learns the truth, or she will be taken. You must decide how you wish to part."

Nezka did not breathe. His lips curled back, and his hands slowly turned to fists. "Is that all then?" he whispered.

Modella's eyes fixed him with a sharp, all-knowing stare. "No. Did you not hear me? You must decide how you wish to part. You can be what you have always been and let her be enslaved within that jungle of steel and marble with your master. Or you can save her and lose yourself. The moment will come, shadowstalker. And you will have to decide."

Nezka felt his heart turn once more to ice. "Then I will lose myself. Tell me how."

"I cannot readily say." Modella sprinkled her crushed plant into a pot of hot water and stirred carefully. "But the moment will come, and you will know. And perhaps, if you play it right, what was once lost can be reclaimed. If not through life, then through death."

Nezka did not care to ask what she meant by that, though he could guess enough. "We leave at dawn," he said after a pause.

"Then go." Modella waved him away. "And be ready for what is to come."

***

Nezka couldn't go back to the room. Not yet. Instead, he found his way to the top, onto the temple terrace, and sat out for some time, watching the night pass by. Not far ahead was the energy deposit. He could just make out its domed shape past the wall. He'd been so wrapped up in getting him and Elise to this point, he hadn't even thought about how they would actually get inside. He knew he should be more concerned about it, but he could think of nothing else save for Modella's words. Black thoughts raced through his head, and he began to lose track of time. He was deep in some other place when a sudden small pinging noise cut him from his thoughts, and his techband lit up. He blinked down at it, nearly forgetting he had it, then saw that someone was calling him.

Silfres.

Nezka took the call. "You made it out. I thought maybe you hadn't lived up to your name."

"For a second, I thought I was a goner too," the lygin admitted. "Would have certainly been upset about my reputation."