Page 98 of Keep Me Safe

“There is. I’m looking right at him,” he says.

I shake my head. “I already told you I’m not the right guy for the position. There’s got to be someone else better suited.”

I’m not trying to be humble or fish for compliments. It’s the truth. I don’t deserve that position. I’m not Al.

“Who are you kidding, boy? You are the only one suited for this position. Everyone knows it,” he says, his hands waving in the air for emphasis. “What is stopping you from accepting that?”

I can’t help but remember them. That kid’s parents. The look on their faces when I had to tell them that their son wouldn’t make it. I don’t deserve that role because I didn’t save him, and a better firefighter would’ve. Al must see the pain on my face because he sighs.

“Noah,” he starts.

“Trust me, it should go to someone else,” I interrupt.

“Will you shut up for a minute?”

That stops me in my tracks. My jaw tightens as his face softens.

“I need to tell you something.”

I stay silent, not wanting to be scolded again, and at my lack of response, he continues.

“It was 1991. I was an experienced officer at that point, and the call sounded routine—a car accident on US 31. The driver was drunk and had swerved into oncoming traffic. When we got there, the scene was horrific. The drunk driver hit another car head-on, and in the process of trying to avoid the collision, the other car was upside down on the side of the road. When I got to it, I knew it wasn’t good. The woman in the driver’s seat was unresponsive.”

He pauses, taking a breath.

“There were two kids in the backseat: A five-year-old and a ten-year-old. They were conscious and screaming for help. I don’t think I’ll ever get their voices out of my head.”

He clears his throat, his eyes welling with tears.

“She didn’t make it, did she?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “No. And the kids didn’t have any other family. They were put into the state’s custody. The point is, we all have a story like that. We all have a ghost that follows us around our entire career. That’s part of the job. It’s what keeps us striving to do better. You did everything you could to save that kid. Sometimes, things happen for no good reason. It’s out of our control.”

His words hit deep. Logically, I know I did everything I could, but what if someone else could have done more?

“You earned this job. Not to mention what you did for Dave. You saved his life when you were told not to. Now, I can’t force you to take the job. You can say no, but then you’ll have to explain why to all those men out there, and they’ll be even harder to convince than me.”

God dammit, he might be right. What is my life amounting to if not this? Being a firefighter is part of what makes me who I am. I don’t have plans to stop anytime soon. These guys are likefamily, and I would do anything to keep them safe. Maybe it’s time I let myself have something for once.

“Fine, I’ll do it.”

“That’s what I thought,” Al says with a cocky grin. Misty-eyed, he claps his hand on my shoulder. “Now let’s go. You have a promotion to celebrate.”

When we finally head back to the party, we’re met with nearly the entire crew eavesdropping outside the door.

“What is there to eat? I’m hungry,” I say, brushing off the emotions still warring inside me.

I’m the new fire commissioner.

“Well,boss, we have the most delectable walking tacos in the state,” Dave says.

“I knew you were in on this,”I accuse.

I find Kira on the back porch when I get home. She’s on the phone, and I think Jared is on the other end. I’m glad he’s not shutting her out like he is me. She doesn’t deserve it.

“What do you mean he was arrested?”Kira asks.“What for?”

My eyes shoot to hers, and her face goes white. I rush over to her, trying to listen to the other end of the call. So help me, god, if that boy got arrested, but it is Jared’s voice on the other end.

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