Page 80 of Keep Me Safe

Instead of responding, I press a bottle into his hands as I walk past him into the kitchen. What am I even supposed to say?

“Make yourself at home, why don’t you?” Keith chides as I take a seat on his leather couch. He tilts his head before shrugging and sitting down in his matching recliner.

“Got the game on?” I ask with a nod in the direction of his massive TV. I’ve never really cared for baseball, but Keith loves it.

“Of course I do. Got some nachos in the oven, too. If you want some, you might want to make another tray.”

“I’m all set, thanks.”

We don’t talk much throughout the game. Keith is too focused on our team winning. It’s not like I could have gotten any words in any way. Keith was too busy screaming and clapping every time they made a run or cursing under his breath when the rival team did. It isn’t until the bottom half of the ninth inning when he is sure that the Tigers will win, that he genuinely acknowledges me.

“Alright, tell me what’s going on.”

“Nothing, I just wanted to watch the game with you,” I say, hoping he doesn’t read any deeper into my tone. I can’t tell him what’s actually going through my head. There’s no way he’s going to understand the situation, and he’s going to think I’m a perv. Anyone would. I had sex with my son’s best friend. There’s no sane way to justify that.

Keith levels a look at me, not tolerating an ounce of my bullshit.

“This is about Kira, isn’t it?” It’s more a statement than a question. My jaw tightens as I try to regulate my reaction. Does he know about Kira and I? There’s no way.

“What do you mean?”

“Noah, I wasn’t born yesterday. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. Not to mention, the tension between you two on the fourth was so thick, a fillet knife couldn’t cut it.”

Was it that obvious? I thought we were discreet, but now I’m wondering if anyone else noticed something was going on. I think about denying it again, but he knows me too well. I doubt he would believe it.

“Well, whatever it was, it’s over now,” I say with empty confidence. “I came to my senses and told her we couldn’t do it anymore.”

“God, I knew it,” he says, sighing. “You’re an idiot.”

“I know. I never should have let anything happen between us. She’s only nineteen, for Christ’s sake. I feel like a piece of shit.”

Keith shakes his head, and disappointment radiates from him.

“No, you dummy, you’re an idiot for letting her go.”

It takes me a minute to fully comprehend what he said, and even then, I’m sure I heard him wrong. There is no way he thinks that Kira and I should be together.

“Listen, in any other circumstance, I would tell you that you’re a creep and need to stay as far away from her as possible, but this is Kira we’re talking about here. She’s different. I know you would never do anything to put that girl in danger,” he explains.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, but I am. It’s so plainly obvious that she is in love with you, and I think you might love her too, or at least close to it. You’ve been happier than I’ve seen you since Angie. That shit is rare, and I know this situation isn’t the most convenient, but you need to hold onto her for as long as she will let you.”

“I’m not good for her, Keith. I would only hold her back.”

“What the hell are you talking about? You are one of the most caring people I know. If anything, you will be there to support her in anything she wants to do.”

I blanche. This is so far from what I expected from this conversation that I wasn’t even planning on having. Never in a million years would I have expected Keith to tell me I should pursue something with Kira. He’s crazy. Kira and I can’t be together.

“Tell me what you’re really afraid of,” he says.

That’s it, isn’t it? I don’t want to ruin her life. I don’t want tobe the one who stops her from living. But if I really think about it, I’m scared of history repeating itself. I can’t get that close to someone again.

“What ifsheleaves me?” The question is so quiet I’m not sure he even hears it. I clear my throat, speaking a bit louder this time. “What if we’re happy for a couple of years, but then, out of the blue, she realizes she doesn’t want me anymore?”

We sit in mutual silence for a few seconds. I sound so pathetic, but it’s the truth. I don’t think I could survive it this time around. I loved Angie, but there’s something more with Kira.

“That’s a lot of what-ifs, Noah. Look, I know Angie hurt you, and fuck her for that, but you can’t live your whole life afraid of letting anyone in. You deserve to be happy, and you need to accept that.”

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