Page 58 of Vendetta

My heart shattered, every remaining ounce of fight I had gone as I turned and ran.

“Go ahead and run, Landry! And don’t fucking come back! You’re nothing to me!”

I was crying so hard that I could barely see in front of me, my legs pushing to get me as far away from this house as possible. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew that any option was better than staying here.

Everything came crashing into me. The guilt over my mother’s death, the guilt over Emory’s death—It was all toomuch to bear. I was breaking, nothing left in me to fight as I absorbed my dad’s words and let them consume me.

You took her away from me.

It should have been you, not her.

You’re nothing to me.

And then I remembered Cashton’s harsh words. All of them slamming into me as I let the dam break and let all of it truly sink in.

I loathe you.

You are nothing.

You mean nothing to me.

I was nothing. Not worthy of being loved, not worthy of anything. My heart splintered into a million pieces, everything crashing down on me as I realized just how pointless this all was. Why did I think I could be someone better? Why did I think I could actually become worthy of anything? Nothing had changed.

I was nothing.

I began hyperventilating, realizing that I didn’t have a single thing on me. I had dropped my cell phone when I had stumbled down the steps, my car keys most likely inside the house somewhere, along with my anxiety medication.

The rain beat down even harder, the adrenaline the only thing keeping me warm as my feet began to go numb, my drenched hair and clothes stuck to my body as I forced my legs to keep running.

I had nothing, and I was nothing. I was tempted to stop right on the side of the road, walk into the forest to my right, and let myself wither away from existence. But the tiniest sliverinside of me kept pushing, begging me to at least get somewhere safe before I let myself shut down.

Between the pouring rain and the freezing weather, I wouldn’t make it through the night if I let myself give up now. I guess my survival instincts weren’t ready to let me give up just yet.

Where could I possibly even go? The dorms were closed over the break, and Bexley was a good hour out of town at her family estate. Without my phone, I had no chance of calling her to come pick me up.

And Olivia… Was at the New Year’s Eve party at Cashton’s house. Maybe if I could just get there, I could get her to give me a ride to her house, and I could stay there until I got everything situated.

The adrenaline kept me moving, my body fighting me to let me just stop and lay down right here. And I wanted to listen. My sobs only grew harder, the cold soaking through me as my body violently shook.

I felt like a hollow shell, not even sure how I was able to keep myself up as every horrible thought that I had ever thought about myself played on repeat in my head. It was overwhelming, and all I wanted was to scream at the top of my lungs to let it all out.

The running helped, the pure exhaustion forcing my brain to quiet. Just when I thought I couldn’t push any farther, I forced myself to keep going, my entire body working independently from my brain. It had to be at least ten miles to get to Cashton’s house, but the landmarks I passed told me I was somehow getting closer.

I just needed to get there. And I would find a way to get to Olivia, and she would take me to her house. And then I could let myself fall apart. I just had to get there.

My sight slowly began to blur, fading in and out as black spots dotted my vision. I was pushing myself too hard, my body numb from the exertion and the cold. I couldn’t feel my nose or my fingers, my toes having already gone numb a few miles back. My camisole clung to my skin, goosebumps covering every inch of me.

My breathing was labored, the quick breaths drawing frigid air into my lungs, making it even harder to breathe. Was I going to die out here? I guess that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I just knew that I wanted to see Bexley and Olivia at least one more time, I couldn’t leave them like this.

I had to be close, I just had to make it a little bit farther. My legs throbbed, the muscles aching as they began to give out.

Fuck. I was actually going to die out here.

Just as the thought crossed my mind, I caught sight of the gate I had been looking for. My teeth chattered painfully, my entire face now numb from the frigid air as I stumbled through the open gates and up the steep driveway to the dark mansion looming above. I could hear the music blasting, cars lining both sides of the property as the party went on.

I faltered for a moment, wondering if I should even bother. Cashton had made his stance clear, and I wasn’t even sure if any of the other guys would care to see me. I didn’t want to have to face them. I was at an all-time low, and I could still turn back now and find somewhere else to go. But where?

The thoughts distracted me for a moment, my mind and body too cold and tired to keep me standing as I tripped andlanded on all fours. I had to get help. I had made it this far, I just needed to get a little bit further and everything would be okay. I just needed to find Olivia.

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