Page 47 of Vendetta

“Are y’all talking about the Landry thing?” Zayn asked by way of greeting, waltzing into the kitchen and grabbing a beer and pack of lunch meat from the fridge that he proceeded to snack on.

“Yeah,” I replied. “We’re going to do it tomorrow at the bonfire. I want to make sure that everyone is around when it goes through.”

I needed to do this now. If I waited any longer, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to go through with it.

He didn’t answer for a moment, only nodding as he looked pensively down at the counter. He had been on board with this from the beginning, but I could have sworn that was uncertainty that flashed across his face.

“Do you think that maybe we’re going a little bit too far with this?” he finally asked. Kaptan stopped whatever he was doing and looked up at him before turning to look at me, awaiting my response.

Was he questioning this too? Were we taking this too far?

I hindered on the thought of Landry for a moment, the thought of hurting her becoming harder and harder. This is why I should never have fucked her in the first place, why I should have stayed away from her. But there was this tug inside of me that constantly drew me to her. I simultaneously wanted to destroy her and be her protector. But I couldn’t have both, and I needed to stick with the original plan.

“Landry isn’t some innocent victim in all of this,” I started, “You both knew Emory. And you were both there that night when everything went down.”

Zayn stopped eating, his troubled gaze falling to his feet. Kaptan held my gaze, expressionless face locked onto mine while he waited for me to continue.

“Emory didn’t deserve what happened to her. And Landry might not be the only responsible party, but she was involved, and that’s enough for me,” I took a deep breath before continuing, needing to convince myself as much as them. “I know she’s grown on both of you. But Landry Andrews only cares about herself. Her actions proved that. And it’s time that she gets knocked off of that gilded pedestal that she’s placed herself on. So no, I don’t think this is going too far. I think she’s going to get exactly what she deserves.”

My fingers twitched, my mood turning sour as I thought about what we were about to do tomorrow. I was beginning to struggle with disassociating the Landry from my past with the Landry from my current. The Landry I knew now seemed genuine, kind, and down to earth. Maybe shehadchanged—or maybe it was just a facade. I guess I would find out when everything came crumbling down.

Taking in my two best friends, I suddenly felt a pang of guilt for dragging them into this. Kaptan was as cold-hearted as I could be at times, not one to show empathy or really any emotions for that matter. But I knew that he liked Landry, not that he would willingly state that out loud. And I was also aware that he put loyalty first and foremost, and that he would go through with it unless I told him otherwise.

“Listen, guys…” I began, “I appreciate you both more than you know. Emory was my sister, and my responsibility. This is my load to bear. And as thankful as I am that you guys have had my back, I don’t want to make you do anything you aren’t comfortable with. I can do this on my own if either of you have any doubts.”

They exchanged a silent glance, communicating through whatever brotherly bond they shared. It was Zayn who then spoke up.

“We have your back. You might not be blood, but you’re family. We do this together.”

Kaptan nodded in agreement, and warmth spread through my insides at the notion of family. They were my brothers through and through, and I didn’t know what I would do without them. I would have fallen apart long ago if it hadn’t been for them.

I nodded my head in thanks, not needing to explicitly state the words for them to understand my gratitude.

“The question is, are you going to be able to go through with this?” Kaptan asked, catching me off guard. My jaw ticked in the slightest at the question that I hadn’t wanted to face.

“Yes,” I ground out, trying to force confidence into my tone. But just as I knew he would, he saw right through me. He didn’t say anything more, only assessed me with his intense gaze.

“She might never forgive you for this,” Zayn stated, a twinge of uncertainty in his tone as he studied me. “I’m not trying to talk you out of it. But I need to make sure that you realize that,” he finished, putting the lunch meat back into the fridge and lighting a cigarette.

“I know,” I stated, the finality in my voice slamming the nail into the coffin. I was aware that Landry might never be able to forgive me. And it was something that I would need to be okay with. Maybe this was for the best, after all. Because I could never truly have her, not after what she put me and my family through. Which is why I wouldn’t allow myself to pine over her, either. Maybe what I needed was to push her so far away that there would be no chance of her coming back to me. So that’s exactly what I would do.

My mind was loud, the thoughts and feelings crowding my head until I only wanted to scream. I knew what I had to do, but there was still a part of me that needed to get on board. Every time her baby blues flashed through my mind, I wanted to turn the metaphorical knife on myself, the thought of hurting her becoming unbearable.

I needed air, needed to clear the violent mess that was wreaking havoc inside my brain. I nodded at Zayn and Kaptan, ending the conversation there as I grabbed my gym bag and boxing gloves from the foyer and made my way out to our circular driveway and my Chevelle. My fists clenched the steering wheel as I made my way through the front gate, my head only getting louder and louder as I made my way to the gym to purge all of these emotions.

Connecting my phone to the car’s Bluetooth, I scrolled through my phone until I found what I needed, hitting play on the voicemail.

“Hey big brother! Dad said you were staying in the city this weekend, I figured maybe I could come down to spend the night after my soccer game on Saturday? And if it’s cool with you, can I bring Ava? I promise I’ll keep her off the furniture,we’ve been working on that! PS, I finally finished the essay for my Ivybrook application, yay! Would you mind if I brought it this weekend for you to look over before I send it? Can’t wait to see you! I would say let me know, but I’m showing up whether I hear from you or not. I miss my Cash. Less than a year and I’ll be down at Ivybrook with you and we can see each other all the time! Fingers crossed. Anyways, love you tons! Best big brother I could have ever asked for. Okay bye!”

CHAPTER 24

LANDRY

The bonfire was hot on my face, the flames warming every inch of me through my thick sweater and leggings. It was an Ivybrook tradition: Students come together to build the two-story-high tower of tree trunks over the course of two weeks so that the entire student body can come together and get hammered to celebrate the season and the last week of the semester.

The party was held in a massive field about an hour out from campus, allowing for all the festivities without any of the fire hazards. Easily a hundred students socialized around the massive tower as music played and the sun slowly set in the sky.

Bexley and I passed a thermos of steaming hot chocolate back and forth, the liquid warming my insides as we sat around the fire with Olivia and TJ to our right and Nate to our left. Zayn had ridden with Cashton and Kaptan, who should be here shortly.

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