Page 17 of Step Daddy

I’m going to hell.

“Oh, God, sorry.”

Kit quickly pushed his way off Gareth’s lap, his words tumbling out breathlessly.

“That’s okay.” Gareth scooted to the side and put several inches between them yet stayed alert in case Kit should start losing purchase. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

Kit looked up from where he’d been brushing dirt and bits of rock from his jeans. “No, I’m fine.” He gave him a sheepish smile. “These aren’t exactly the best climbing shoes.”

Since Kit enjoyed the outdoors, Gareth filed away in his mind a boot shopping trip. He ignored the thoughts having to do with him wanting to take care of his boy. Couldn’t a guy do something nice for his brother without it turning into a big deal?

Gareth reached into the pack and handed Kit one of the water bottles. “Here. Have some of this.”

Kit did as he was told without pause and Gareth focused his attention on the soothing sounds of the water rushing along the river and the beauty of the deep blue sky. He’d let Kit direct where the conversation went. Perhaps he no longer wanted to discuss his worries, and that was fine, too. If nothing else, they could enjoy the serenity of the surroundings.

Several minutes passed as they relaxed in companionable silence. Gareth leaned back on his elbows, stretching out on the mostly flat surface then crossing his ankles. Kit remained cross-legged and was busy steering an ant away from them with his fingertip.

“So…” Kit began. “I was wondering.” He angled his head toward Gareth. “When did you know you were gay?”

Gareth had been expecting that question, so already had a half-answer in mind. “I always knew in the sense that I never found girls attractive, only ever had crushes on boys. But I didn’t have a name for my feelings until I hit eight or nine.” He smirked. “That’s when the kids, or I should say the boys, decided calling each other faggot was the ultimate put-down. When I found out what the word meant, I punched the lead bully in the face.” Gareth grinned. “The first of many suspensions to come.”

Kit’s jaw dropped. “That young? What did Ted do?”

“Spanked the living hell out of me. I think the punishment was extra harsh because I defended the righteousness of my actions. That essentially outed me to the bastard and was the beginning of his endless sissy remarks from that day forward.”

“Wow.” Kit went back to encouraging the tenacious ant to find another rock to occupy. “For me, it’s been weird.” He sighed. “That’s probably the wrong word. What I’m trying to say is I only ever had crushes on girls, and even then, the only really strong one I had was with my ex-girlfriend. But…”

Kit glanced sideways at Gareth before returning his attention to his task. “I never really wanted to have sex with her. I mean, I sort of did? It’s not that I don’t like sex, either. So I’m pretty sure I’m not asexual. It’s that I didn’t feel…” He dropped his head in his hands before raising it again. “I didn’t want to, that’s all.” He shook his head. “I’m making zero sense, aren’t I?”

“Life rarely makes sense. And this is your experience, who you are. It doesn’t have to fit into a neat and tidy box so you can label it and put it on a shelf.” Gareth sat up, catching his brother’s gaze. “There’s no requirement for you to label yourself right now. This is your private self and it’s no one else’s business.”

Kit smiled. “Thanks for that.” He looked away, his brow furrowing before turning back to Gareth. “So if I like women, but don’t want to have sex with them, but I don’t have crushes on guys…” Kit’s face turned bright red. “For the most part. Yet I still feel sexual, get turned on and all that, what do you think it is?”

Gareth wanted to offer Kit answers, to give him some relief from his worry, but didn’t want to put ideas in his head that weren’t true for him personally. It wasn’t up to Gareth to decide something so significant for Kit, yet he didn’t want Kit to feel as if Gareth didn’t want to help.

“I think it’s that you’re still young and figuring things out. I promise you, it’s all right if you don’t have all the answers at once.” Gareth offered Kit what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “You’ll know when the time is right.”

Judging from Kit’s annoyed expression, he didn’t seem too reassured. “I’m not that young. I know I don’t have a lot of life experience, not the way you have.” He let out a melancholy sigh and gazed out on the river. “I haven’t been all over the world and done the amazing things you’ve done.” Kit turned back to him, but now he appeared more sad than annoyed. “I’m sorry. I’m not being fair.”

Gareth grunted. “How are you not being fair? I don’t understand.”

Kit chuckled. “I’m going to give you a tired cliché and say it’s complicated.”

“Ah.” Gareth chuckled back. “So that’s how it is.”

They exchanged a smile then went back to enjoying the scenery in silence. He didn’t want to stir the pot now that Kit was getting a chance to kick back a little, but man, he knew nothing about what his brother had been doing in the years they’d been apart.

Clearly, Ted had found a way to rope Kit into working at one of the property management offices, but what did he do there? Was he still a big superhero fan? Did he have plans for college, a career?

“So…” Gareth wanted to tread more than lightly around the work and career subject. “Do you work at the management company full time, or do you also go to school?”

Kit gave him a wry grin. “I could be wrong, but I’m betting I don’t work there anymore.”

Gareth pursed his lips. “Watch your smart mouth, kid.”

A sudden flash of Kit over his knee, ass bared and red as Gareth gave him a sound spanking, flashed through his head. Fuck. Maybe he should jump in the river and cool off.

Kit’s eyes widened and his cheeks flushed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.”

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