Page 38 of Born Daddy

Chapter Eleven

“I had a great time, Rogan. Thanks.” Tate smiled up at Rogan, secretly wishing for a kiss while simultaneously knowing it would never happen. “I didn’t realize how much I needed a day like this.” Tate flushed. “But you did.”

Rogan averted his gaze, rubbing the back of his neck as they stood in the hallway outside Tate’s apartment door.

He chuckled shakily. “I made a guess.”

The magic of the day hadn’t diminished, and Tate ached to hold on to this glorious feeling forever. There’d been times with Cam when they traveled to an exclusive resort, but nothing comparable to Nantasket Beach with Rogan. They’d primarily stay in their outrageously expensive room to enjoy non-stop rounds of kinky sex, go to world class restaurants, then loll on the beach with cocktails. Most of the time, Cam would get bored and they’d cut their vacation short.

However, the few hours with Rogan had eclipsed the pricey getaways with Cam by far. Tate had experienced enjoyment on those, but not elation. Not this overwhelming desire to laugh out loud or let his emotions run free. What Tate had always believed to be a prerequisite of giving his power to Cam wasn’t true. He could experience joy within the confines of structure.

The silence had stretched to the point of awkwardness with Rogan glancing around the hall in what appeared to be an inner struggle. Remembering Rogan’s permission from earlier, Tate opted to be brave.

“Would you like to come in?”

Rogan’s eyes flashed in what Tate thought was fear, but his expression quickly flattened.

“Oh. Uh, thank you. But I should probably get going.” Rogan cleared his throat. “You have to get up early for that check-in thing you were telling me about.”

Tate swallowed down his disappointment. “Yeah, no problem. And I’m sure you have to get up early for work, too.”

Rogan lifted his eyebrows. “Not on Thursdays, but er…” He crossed his arms as if trying to keep them in check. “Anyway, I’m glad you had a good time.” Rogan’s features softened. “I did too.”

They stood there staring at each other and Tate’s toes curled in his Converses. He’d never made the first move. And while he didn’t dare do anything crazy in case he scared Rogan off, the impulse was almost impossible to resist.

Rogan glanced down as he placed his hands on his hips, then lifted his gaze. “Sunday?”

Tate’s heart thumped, his excitement almost making him bounce. Sure, they’d already halfway made getting together an ongoing date, but Tate always worried. Always, always worried about everything, was afraid that what he wanted most would be taken away.

“Definitely.” Tate pressed his lips together, wondering if he sounded too eager.

However, Rogan’s own response seemed as enthusiastic as his, so Tate relaxed.

“Great. How about I stop by at eleven-thirty? Then we could grab lunch. Does that work with your, you know, arrangement with Master…?”

“Master Zane. And yes. That’s totally fine.” He lifted his shoulder in a shrug as if speaking with Master Zane was no big deal. The twinge of guilt from thinking that way about someone who’d been so kind to him was pushed aside in favor of reassuring Rogan. “That won’t take more than a few minutes, so eleven-thirty gives me loads of time.”

Rogan arched his eyebrows, then lifted his lips into a smile. “I guess I’ll see you then.”

The awkward silence and staring resumed. Rogan averted his gaze again, his arms folded as though they’d been permanently cemented that way. At last, Rogan returned his attention to Tate.

“Well, I’d better get going then.” He gave a quick nod and another smile. “Sleep well, and uh…” Rogan took a couple short steps back. “Call me if you need anything between now and then.”

Rogan abruptly turned, rushing away before Tate was able to respond. He called out, “I will!” and without looking over his shoulder, Rogan waved with one hand. Tate watched as Rogan made it to the stairwell, then hurried to get inside before he was caught.

Tate fell against the door once he’d turned the latch then slid to the floor. Was he imagining things, or was Rogan attracted to him? Tate brought his knees up to his chin and wrapped his arms around them. Guilt gnawed at his insides. If he was being honest with himself, he was attracted to Rogan too.

Was that wrong? To feel something for his dead Daddy’s friend? Tate clutched at his hair, burying his face in his knees.

He wasn’t sure he cared whether it was or not. Being with Rogan felt right, felt good. It had been so long since he’d felt anything other than pain. Maybe he deserved to have more than anxiety, fear and sadness rule every moment of every day.

Maybe he deserved to have Rogan.

Rogan sat in his truck in the dark of the late night, hands folded in his lap while staring straight ahead at nothing. Was he losing his mind? Or maybe it was something much less dramatic than that. He wasn’t sure he’d call it abandoning his moral compass. More like he was blurring the lines between what was appropriate, and what could only lead to heartache. Not only for him, but also for Tate.

Leave. Drive away.

His stomach twisted in a way that left him shaking, his body a solid ball of tension as he experienced the physical results of his mental battle. He inhaled deep, then let the air out in a long exhale, one hand raising in a half-hearted attempt at reaching for the key in the ignition.

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