Page 11 of Now and Forever

“Baby,” He had to raise his voice more than he would’ve liked under the circumstances, but he wasn’t sure Seth could hear him otherwise. “Please unlock the door.”

Seth dropped his head and Malcolm noted he was twisting his hands. He also wasn’t making a move to do what Malcolm had asked, either.

“Seth, I’m not kidding. We need to work this out one way or another.”

His head jerked up and he stared at Malcolm with wide eyes. But thankfully, he also followed through and unlocked the truck. It wasn’t lost on Malcolm, though, that he didn’t open the door.

After Malcolm pulled it open, he draped one arm over the top and leaned in, using his body to shield Seth. He hoped it would give him a sense of safety or privacy so that he’d be more comfortable talking.

“I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“Nope.” Malcolm shook his head vigorously. “We’re not doing that. I don’t want to hear any apologies. This is on me more than anything, but we can easily work it out.”

“But—”

“I saidno, Seth, and that’s the end of it.”

It might be time to use a stronger approach with Seth. His reaction to the spanking was a great indicator of that. Coddling had its place, and Malcolm had barely been able to do anything beyond that since they’d met. But Seth wasn’t the same person as he’d been then.

“Can I at least beg you not to be mad at me?”

“Sweetheart…” He rubbed Seth’s shoulder. “Don’t you know by now that I won’t be mad? We’ve been over this so many times. At this point, I don’t know what more there is I can do to convince you of that.”

Seth stared at his hands and nodded. “I don’t think you can. It’s just…there. Like it’s as much a part of me as my arm.” He peered up at him. “Even after all the therapy and reassurances and your love that I believe in with all my heart—I’m…I’m afraid this fear I have of making others angry will never go away. Can you accept that?”

“Jesus, Seth. Of course, I can.” Malcolm ducked his head into the cab and pulled him into a hug. “Shit.” He squeezed him tight and caressed his back, kissing his neck before releasing him. He went back to rubbing his shoulder. “I don’t expect you to reach some sort of emotional goalpost for my benefit. This is your life, whatyouwant to achieve. I’m here as your Daddy to help guide and support you through that journey. I’m also here as your friend and lover. We’re in this together, baby. You and me all the way.”

“You said ‘shit’.”

Malcolm paused mid-breath to allow his brain a second to catch up. “Oh!” He chuckled. “Right. Good catch. Clearly, it’s such an ingrained habit, that I don’t even notice when I say it.” Malcolm stroked Seth’s cheek with the back of his hand. “Will you come back inside now?”

Seth’s eyes rounded and he tensed. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. I promise it’s all right. They’re not mad either. My dad might be a bit confused, but Mom said she’d fill him in.”

“What?” Seth frowned. “Now I’m confused.”

“Yeah.” Malcolm grunted. “There’s been a lot of that going around tonight. Look, Mom surprised the hell out of me. I didn’t get into a discussion with her about anything specific, but it appears she’s aware of Daddy/boy relationships and doesn’t have a problem with them. What just happened barely fazed her.”

Seth’s jaw went slack. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. She wanted me to come out here and ‘make you behave’ so you’d stay.”

Seth broke into gales of laughter and Malcolm soon joined in.

They finally regained control of themselves and Seth wiped a finger under one eye. He shook his head.

“Wow. I never would’ve guessed that.”

“Right? So, why don’t we go back inside, settle in and get something to eat. I’m not letting my boy go hungry over this whole episode.”

Seth started to climb out of the car then froze. “Wait. What about your dad?”

“She told him to get a sandwich and beer and she’d explain everything later. I don’t think he’s as up on all things Daddy/boy as she is.”

“Oh. Uh, will that be a problem? I mean, he might think I’m weird and not want me around you.”

“If that were ever to happen, it’d be more likely he’d thinkIwas weird and advise you to get away fromme. But my guess is that’s not how it’ll go down. He’ll probably be awkward and not know what to say to us for a while until he eventually adjusts to the concept. It’ll be like me coming out all over again.” He patted Seth’s back. “I wouldn’t worry.”

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