Page 1 of For the Love of a Boy

Chapter One

Malcolm gazed down at Seth as he lay sleeping. He resisted the urge to brush away a stray lock of hair that had drifted over Seth’s brow, to risk waking him. His relaxed features seemed to indicate he was at peace. Malcolm could only hope that was the case.

Peace.

What did that word mean for a man who had lived under the specter of hatred and abuse for most of his life? Malcolm’s chest tightened and he swallowed hard. He couldn’t imagine what Seth’s suffering must have been like. A helpless child who had become a battered man as the long years dragged on without love, without regard to the fact that Seth lived in fear every single fucking day. Malcolm sniffed as his eyes burned with unshed tears.

That was over. He’d see to it. No one would ever lay a finger on his boy again.

Seth stirred in his sleep, his legs moving restlessly before he flopped onto his back, a slight crease marring his forehead as a small whimper escaped his lips. Malcolm placed his palm on Seth’s exposed belly, a careful touch so as not to startle him. A more anguished whimper echoed the previous one and Malcolm caressed Seth’s skin, gently encouraging him awake and away from whatever agony must be taunting him in his dreams.

Seth’s eyes flew open and he flailed for a moment, his nightmare seemingly still trapping him in its powerful grip. “Malcolm!”

Malcolm gathered Seth in an embrace and his boy buried his face in the crook of Malcolm’s neck, clutching at him as his frantic breathing gradually slowed.

Their dynamic as Daddy and boy was still fresh enough that Seth would occasionally slip and call him by his name. Malcolm had once suggested they slow down, that Seth didn’t have to refer to him that way, or perhaps only say it when they made love. But his boy had become so agitated that Malcolm had let the subject drop. He held fast to the belief that Seth needed to direct certain aspects of their emotional relationship, so he hadn’t insisted. As it turned out, Malcolm had been allowing Seth to set the pace in almost all things—something he’d never imagined he’d do with a boy.

However, Seth’s acceptance of his own power was key to his healing. Malcolm would never stand in the way of that.

Malcolm had continued to soothe Seth with touch, rubbing more soft circles on his back and hoping the dark thoughts that had frightened him would drift away.

“Another nightmare?”

Seth nodded against Malcolm’s chest. “Don’t let go of me, Daddy. Not yet.”

Malcolm hugged him tighter. “For as long as you need, baby.”

Halloween had passed without acknowledgement as the chill in the Oregon air had built. The conditioning from Seth’s father and the church regarding the supposed satanic ritual had crippled Seth’s attempt to participate. Even the suggestion Malcolm had made of decorating the front porch and giving out candy had been met with agitation. The concept that trick or treating would be an issue had never occurred to Malcolm.

However, Seth had fallen into a panic attack. His reaction had quashed that idea—not to mention Nate and Tina’s Halloween party gathering. To guard against the possible fallout of continuous knocking and doorbell ringing, Malcolm had shut off the outdoor lights and set a bowl of candy on a chair in front of the locked gates. Then he’d changed course and set up a quiet evening for them with pizza, a non-Halloween comedy and a shared bath by candlelight.

But now Thanksgiving was a few days away, and he’d been relieved to learn that Seth was excited for its arrival. He’d even wanted to know if they could invite Nate and Tina over. When he’d discovered they already had other plans, Seth’s disappointment had been genuine. Malcolm wasn’t ready to take Seth to visit his parents, and he knew for damn sure Seth wasn’t ready either, so he’d opted for them to stay in. He’d reassured Seth they could still make all the fixings and that it would be perfect because then they could save on cooking time by having plenty of leftovers.

Malcolm kissed the top of Seth’s head. At least his trembling had subsided, so Malcolm thought he might be ready to talk.

“Can you tell me about your nightmare, sweetheart? It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

A few moments passed before Seth spoke. “Not right now. Sorry.”

Malcolm gave him a squeeze. “No apology needed—you know that.”

“Okay, Daddy. Thanks.”

They remained in silence and Malcolm’s thoughts wandered to the discussion they’d had several times regarding a therapist for Seth. So far, Seth had resisted the idea. Malcolm understood his hesitation, despite knowing how vital it was for Seth’s recovery. Seth didn’t offer his trust easily and Malcolm didn’t want to force him if he wasn’t ready. Feeling safe was more important for Seth in Malcolm’s opinion. When it was the right time, Malcolm would use one of the recommendations Pastor Callum had passed on to him.

“I wish I could stay here in your arms like this forever, Daddy.”

Malcolm smiled against Seth’s head and pressed another kiss to his ruffled hair. “I wish too. Except we’d probably get hungry.”

Seth snorted. “And have to pee.”

Malcolm let out a long, slow breath. The menace of Seth’s nightmare seemed to have faded. “Is that a hint?”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” Seth chuckled. “Both of those things.”

“Then let’s get our day started.”

As Seth rose from the bed, Malcolm leaned over to give him a smack on one naked butt cheek.

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