Page 32 of In the Name of the Father

“I got the dining room table set like you asked. I came in to check if it’s time to put the bread in the oven yet.”

Malcolm regarded him with a smile. “Not quite. I want everything to simmer for a while longer.” Malcolm covered the pot. “Care to join me in the living room for a bit? I want to get your feedback on an idea I have.”

Seth’s features brightened. “Sure.”

Once they’d taken their seats on the couch, Malcolm angled his body to face Seth. He tried not to note how Seth had chosen to sit much closer to him then he had before. Their bodies weren’t touching, but it wouldn’t take much for that to change. He supposed it was natural after all that had occurred that day, so he refused to place too much significance on it.

Malcolm made sure to keep his posture relaxed, laying his arm across the back of the sofa cushion. “I know of a man, a gay man, who is also a Christian pastor. I was wondering if you might like to speak with him about some of your religious concerns.”

Seth’s mouth dropped open and he stared at Malcolm in shock. The reaction wasn’t surprising. He’d already steeled himself for everything from anger to terror being directed his way at the suggestion.

“I don’t believe you.”

Hmm. Maybe not everything. “You think I’m lying to you?”

Seth jerked back as if he’d been slapped. “No! Sorry, no. I would never think you’re lying to me. I just…” Seth creased his brow as he shook his head. “How is that possible? I mean, unless he remains celibate so he can stay a Christian. I guess that might work.”

“No, he’s not celibate. He’s married to a man and—” Malcolm stopped himself before he blurted that Pastor Callum was also accepting of a kink lifestyle. “Anyway, he marries same sex couples all the time. I know he has a small LGBTQ fellowship in one of the Portland suburbs. I’ve never been—I think you must’ve guessed by now that I’m not a church-goer—but I know of it.” Seth still gaped at him as if Malcolm had grown a second head. “Would you like to meet him? I thought it might be one quantifiable way of discovering that you’re not alone.”

Seth blinked repeatedly, his jaw still hanging open. After a few moments, he seemed to shake himself out of his daze. “I’dloveto meet him. Do you think he’d want to meet with me?”

Malcolm almost collapsed against the cushions in relief. He’d spent half the day worrying that Seth might see the suggestion as some sort of betrayal or that he was handing him off to another stranger because he no longer wished to be bothered with him.

“I don’t see why he wouldn’t. I haven’t reached out to him yet because I wanted to make sure you were okay with the idea first. But I don’t foresee an issue.”

“Really? Why did you want to ask me before you called him?”

“Seth…” Malcolm took a chance and reached for Seth’s hand. Before he’d barely moved, Seth met him more than halfway and placed his hand in Malcolm’s. “My concern was that you’d feel as though I was pawning you off on someone else, or that speaking with a pastor—no matter what kind—would be a trigger for you.”

“Oh. That makes sense.” Seth lifted his gaze. “Do you want to pawn me off?”

“No.” Malcolm spoke in his firm tone. “Never. I’ll always be here for you if that’s what you want.”

Seth tilted his head, an expression of something crossing his features that Malcolm couldn’t discern. “Thank you. I’ll do everything I can not to disappoint you.”

Malcolm cupped Seth’s cheek. It had become an exercise in futility to keep from touching him. “The only way you could disappoint me is if you stopped seeking your own happiness.” He stroked Seth’s face with his thumb. “You deserve all the joy in the world.”

Seth leaned into him and Malcolm held his breath. They were mere inches apart, close enough that all Malcolm had to do was angle his head so their mouths could meet. Then he could taste the sweetness that was Seth.

Malcolm drew his hand away, careful not to make the movement so abrupt that Seth would think he’d done something wrong. At Seth’s confused expression, Malcolm cleared his throat then offered him a smile.

“I should go check on how the soup’s doing.” He pushed up from the couch and when Seth remained seated, Malcolm relented a bit and offered him his hand. “Come on. It’s probably time to put in the bread.”

Seth stared at his hand for a beat then accepted Malcolm’s gesture. He peered up and gave Malcolm a hesitant smile. “Sure. Don’t want it to boil over or anything.”

Once they’d made their way to the kitchen, Seth handled the bread duties while Malcolm made a show of stirring and tasting the soup. He needed to get them past this awkwardness before they sat down to dinner. His gut was swimming and, judging from Seth’s look of disappointment, he imagined Seth’s stomach was in a similar state.

“Uh, tomorrow’s your last day off before you have to go back into work, right?”

Seth closed the oven door then straightened. “Yes. It might be a good time to start helping you around here like I promised.” Seth’s shoulders dropped. “Since I can’t pay you until my next check.” He glanced up. “I’ll still help anyway even after that. I just meant, it’s the least I can do.”

“Hmm.” Malcolm gave the soup one more stir, placed the lid back on the pot then turned off the burner. “I was thinking more along the lines of taking a visit to the Arboretum. They have some gorgeous trails and you said you loved the outdoors. The days we can enjoy outside activities will start to dwindle the later into fall we get.”

Seth bit his lip. “I’ve heard about that place. It sounds really nice. But…” He appeared so pained that Malcolm wished he could gather him up in his arms again.

“Was there something else you’d rather do? That was only a suggestion.”

Seth gave him the same anxious look. “I’ll do whatever you want. I was only thinking that I should be helping around the house instead of you wasting your time on keeping me entertained.”

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