Page 30 of In the Name of the Father

“There we go, I think I got all the soap out. You can open your eyes now.” Malcolm rested a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, but I have to leave the room for just a couple minutes. I didn’t think to bring you a bathrobe when I got the water bottle. But I’ll only be a moment, all right?”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Malcolm gave his shoulder a quick squeeze before he rose, then ambled from the room. The minute Malcolm disappeared around the doorway Seth became aware of his own full erection. He gasped then checked to make sure the cloth was still covering him. It was…sort of.

After sitting up in the tub, Seth brought his knees to his chest. He scrubbed his face with one hand as he fought the rising tide of confusion that was filling him. Since getting away from the madness that had been his life in Idaho, he’d come to understand that sexuality was normal. Maybe being gay was sinful, but now that he’d met Malcolm, he questioned if that was true.

So many lies.

It would be up to him to use his heart to search out the truth. Was God still there, would He still listen to Seth’s prayers?

“Are you cold?”

Seth jerked up his head. “Huh?” He hadn’t heard Malcolm step into the room.

Malcolm regarded him with concern. “I don’t want you to catch a chill.”

He laid a fluffy, black terrycloth robe on the long marble counter in-between the two brushed chrome sink bowls. Then he held up the biggest towel Seth had ever seen—much larger than a regular bath-sized one. Malcolm spread it out and high enough that he wouldn’t be able to see Seth’s naked frame when he stood.

“Come on. Let’s get you dried off, then you can rest with me on the couch in the den. It’s nice and comfy, I promise.” Malcolm punctuated his words with a soft smile.

“Sure, whatever you say.” He’d do anything to please Malcolm.

Seth braced himself against the tiled wall, then stepped out of the tub. Malcolm wrapped him up in the towel, holding him close just long enough that Seth thought Malcolm might hug him again like he had earlier. He’d been so upset at the time he hadn’t had the chance to enjoy the embrace. But instead of a real hug, Malcolm let him go to retrieve the bathrobe.

“Put this on once you’re dry then you can grab some clean underwear from your room. After that, I owe you that foot massage.”

Malcolm gave him a grin and Seth smiled back. For the first time since he’d had his meltdown, his heart had lightened somewhat. Even his headache was dulling. He held Malcolm’s gaze for a moment but had to tear it away. His stomach fluttered, the intensity he saw in Malcolm’s eyes almost more than he could bear.

Seth bent down to retrieve his discarded clothing from the floor, anything to keep himself from doing or saying something stupid in front of the handsome, sophisticated man who he now realized he had more of a serious crush on than he’d thought. He reminded himself that everything was moving fast and that he didn’t need to push anything.Malcolm isn’t. All they were doing right now was getting him beyond what had happened earlier.

Once Seth had shrugged on Malcolm’s robe, he allowed himself to be led by one hand to the hamper, then to the guestroom. With the ankle-length robe tightly tied around him, he quickly slipped on a new pair of briefs, then followed Malcolm to the den. The room was located just past the living room and to the left of the sun porch. The sofa in there was deep, also made of a soft microsuede—only this one was a beautiful dove gray. A black leather recliner was angled next to it, and Seth had a moment of worry that Malcolm would choose the chair instead of joining him on the couch the way he’d promised.

Malcolm directed him to the sofa then released his hand. “Here we go. Lie back against the pillowed arm here and stretch out.”

Seth did as Malcolm had asked, marveling out how much he enjoyed following his lead. At the same time, wasn’t that what he’d tried to do for so many years? To please those around him? Except his father and the church leaders had continuously torn him down. If they’d treated him the way Malcolm was, then maybe things would’ve been different.

His heart clenched.But then I wouldn’t have come here. I wouldn’t have met Malcolm. Seth decided that no matter that happened between them, his life would’ve been better for having met Malcolm.

“Would you like another pillow? I want to make sure you’re comfortable enough that you can fall asleep if you need to.”

“This is perfect, I promise.”

“All right. I’m going to grab myself some more coffee and a couple more bottles of water.” Malcolm leaned over him then plucked a soft, darker gray throw from the back of the couch. He draped it over Seth’s legs. “Warm enough?”

“You’re amazing.” Seth’s eyes widened and he pressed his lips together. He hadn’t meant to blurt out his thoughts like that. “I mean…”He’s been open and honest with me. “Actually, that’s what I meant.”

“Such a brave boy.”

Malcolm’s words had been almost a whisper, but Seth was sure he’d heard correctly. It was exactly what he’d been afraid of. Malcolm didn’t see him as a man, only as a kid. He didn’t view him as worth pursuing. Malcolm leaned over then brushed some hair off Seth’s forehead. “I’ll only be a moment.”

While he waited for Malcolm to return, Seth tempered his disappointment by inhaling the scent of Malcolm that still clung to the fabric of the robe. He ran his palms along the decadent softness of the small blanket Malcolm had draped over his legs. If he could get back on his feet, get past the agony of his old life and begin a fresh one, perhaps he could prove to Malcolm that he’d be worth dating.

After all, Malcolm seemed so alone. He’d only talked about his one friend and the people he knew from the vineyard. And beyond any physical attraction Seth had to him, he also loved how Malcolm took charge. It didn’t seem to bother Malcolm to fill that role—the very thing that stressed Seth out to no end. As soon as he’d begun to fall apart, Malcolm had known exactly what to do.

Seth turned his head as Malcolm re-entered the room, not missing the quirk of his lips, the hint of a smile going to Malcolm’s eyes when their gazes locked. His own heart picked up a rapid pace and Seth was struck by how connected they already seemed to be. Yet, the incessant voice in the back of his mind wouldn’t shut up, wouldn’t stop whispering that gay men were evil, couldn’t love, were doomed to burn in hell.

I’d burn for Malcolm.

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