Page 20 of In the Name of the Father

Malcolm paused again as his grip grew tighter on the wheel. “Bottom line—I’m not going to placate you. I’ll tell you like it is, but it will always be from a point of truth.”

“Bad things too?”

Seth detected what sounded like a growl from under Malcolm’s breath.

“There’s nothing bad about you, Seth.Nothing.” Malcolm shook his head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that to come out so harsh. I can’t stop being angry about the things you told me that your father said.”

Seth grunted. “What he said wasn’t half as bad as what hedid.”

“Fuck.”

The use of the dirty word surprised Seth after how Malcolm had said he’d try to avoid saying it. But when Seth turned to him, he cringed at the pain he saw etched in Malcolm’s features.

“Sorry…I didn’t mean to let that out, Seth.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I know you didn’t. And I don’t expect you to edit yourself around me. Continue being honest about what you went through.” Malcolm drew his eyebrows together. “I need to confess that I have an inner battle going on right now.”

“About what?”

Seth gazed at Malcolm in wonder. Not only was he nicer than anyone Seth had ever met, but he was so open with how he felt.He’s not putting on a show or trying to prove to others that he’s better than them, more pious.

“Well, I’d like to know more about your background and what you’ve been through. I think it’ll assist me in figuring out the best way to help you. I also want to be your sounding board, someone you feel comfortable enough with to share what you’ve been through.” Malcolm gave him a quick glance. “But I’d also like for you to have one day where the specter of your old life isn’t hanging over you. Well, as much as possible, anyway. This is your first time seeing the ocean. I’m taking you to a nice restaurant with a gorgeous view. Let’s enjoy the present.” Malcolm smiled as he stared at the road ahead. “I want you to be happy.”

Don’t cry. Take a deep breath. “I feel very comfortable with you.” Seth chewed his lip as he wiped his sweaty palms along his jeans. “You’re right, though. I think it would be nice to enjoy the rest of the day without bringinghimor any of that other stuff up.” Seth pressed ahead, drawing on all his nerve. “It’s been awesome so far. Thanks to you, of course. Maybe the next time you’re not busy, we can…maybe…” He swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I’d like to tell you what happened.”

Malcolm slowly nodded. “That’s perfect. We’ve come up with a wonderful plan.” Malcolm regarded him with a wider smile. “Thanks for helping me out with that.”

Seth’s face heated at the praise. A part of him wanted to protest that it was all Malcolm’s doing, but he knew the man would have none of it. “Okay, that sounds good.”

Malcolm reached across the console and squeezed his hand the way he had a few times before. Seth didn’t know what to make of it overall. He supposed it was that Malcolm was a friendly man—as open with his affections as he was with his feelings. Comfortable in his own skin in a way Seth couldn’t comprehend.

What would it be like if he left his hand there? If we laced our fingers together?

Seth’s face heated even more, and he gazed out of the passenger window so Malcolm wouldn’t spot the blush he was certain was visible.

And what would it be like if he kissed me?

Someone as special as Malcolm would never want him that way, but he could have his fantasies.

For many years, his fantasies had been the only way he’d kept his sanity.

* * * *

“We’re almost to the coast. Can you see it in the distance?”

Malcolm snuck a glance at Seth as he strained his neck, searching the horizon to view the ocean ahead. He wasn’t sure who was more excited—him or Seth. Somehow, the idea of sharing firsts with the sheltered Seth gave him a thrill. The anticipation of experiencing something new with someone hadn’t occurred for him in years.

Not since Everett.

What did it mean that he was feeling that way with Seth? He wasn’t sure if he was ready to face the truth of it and heknewSeth wasn’t. Not when the young man had so many obstacles to overcome. A new pain filled him. In truth, Seth might never be ready.

Seth gasped. “I see it!” He turned to Malcolm. “Would it be all right if we stopped for a minute at one of the beaches? I won’t walk in the sand or get my feet wet, so I don’t get your car dirty. I just want to get closer.”

“What?” Malcolm took a breath to temper his shock. “Oh no, that won’t do at all.”

“I’m sorry. It’s okay if we don’t. Seeing it from the car is wonderful enough.”

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