Page 14 of In the Name of the Father

“No, no.I’mthe one who’s sorry.” Nate chuckled. “I think you’re misunderstanding me. That was a ‘wow I’m shocked and surprised—yet happy’ comment.”

Malcolm frowned. “And I think I’m still misunderstanding. You’re shocked and happy that I’m asking if a stranger can stay in your guesthouse temporarily?”

“I guess you can’t tell, can you?”

Nate was starting to get on Malcolm’s nerves. He should’ve made coffee first, then called him.

“Tell what?”

“Man, I can hear it in your voice. The deep concern over this young man, how you’ve already worked it out so that he’ll be safe and taken care of.”

Holy Jesus. “It’s notthattype of scenario. Sure, the need to protect is in my nature. That’s how I typically respond to someone who needs help. But that’sallit is.”

“Malcolm, listen to me. I’m not suggesting anything, I don’t know this kid or his situation. All I’m saying is that it’s nice to hear you expressing yourself this way again. You’ve been…”

Coffee. Why don’t I have coffee? He wasn’t in the mood for soul searching before the sun had barely had the chance to rise.

“I know, Nate. I get it. But you already know that I decided a while ago to let that part of my life go. I can care about another person and want to help without keeping them as my boy.”

“Of course, you can. But you can also open yourself up to the possibility of having that again.” Nate chuckled. “I’m not saying that this kid iswhoyou should explore that with, but allowing yourself to feel that way again, to let that part of you come alive—that’s what’s got me so happy. When’s the last time you put yourself out there? Two, three years ago?”

Malcolm rubbed his forehead. “Yeah. Something like that.”

“And that was only after you mourned what you’d lost with Everett for a good seven or so years. Fuck, man. I was heartbroken for you that whole time.”

“Nate…”

His friend really did mean well, and to give him credit, he hadn’t hassled him over the refusal to not only date, but to be a Daddy, in a very long time. Malcolm had spared Nate the Grindr hookup reports. Grabbing the occasional one-off didn’t count.

One and done.

“Listen. What if you took him to Portland one night and introduced him to the club?”

Malcolm choked on his own spit. “I…” He cleared his throat. “There are a few details about him I haven’t shared.” He lowered his voice. “I don’t want to go into too much detail right now since I don’t know when he might walk in, but he’s led a very sheltered life.”

Malcolm’s heart clenched when he thought of what Seth must have endured growing up. He was certain he only knew a small portion of it. “I’m also very concerned about his background and what sort of abuse he’s been subjected to. I honestly don’t have very much information about him yet, so it’s important that I tread carefully.”

Nate hummed. “Ah, I see. That’s too bad. I’m glad you’re the one he ran into while in trouble.”

“Yeah. You and me both.”

“But as long as we’re talking about the club and your protective urge has come to the surface again—”

“No.”

“I wasn’t saying for you to bring the kid, I meant—”

“No. And we weren’t talking about the club.Youwere talking about the club.”

“Everyone misses you. They ask about you every single time I go.”

“That’s very thoughtful of them. But it was where I met Everett, and even when he was still alive, it wasn’t our scene anymore. We only ever went to hang out with you and a few of the other people. It was our social outlet. All the other stuff, him being my boy and our shared kinks—we were always happier being with each other at home.” Malcolm winced. “No offense. We loved hanging out with you and everyone, but…” He wasn’t explaining himself very well. “We were homebodies, you know?”

Once he and Everett had become exclusive, the compulsion to go see club demonstrations or do a public scene had completely disappeared. All they’d wanted was each other. His chest tightened when he thought of how much he’d lost when Everett had died. The ache was the same whenever he remembered the good times. How he wished that someday those memories would evoke happiness instead of pain.

“I’m not offended. We all knew that about you guys. But once so much time had passed, we all thought…”

“I appreciate your concern, I sincerely do. But can we get back to why I called?”

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