Page 9 of In the Name of the Father

“Seth.” Malcolm gazed on him with compassion. “I’m not mad. You haveeveryright to your feelings. All I’d like to do at this point is figure out the best course of action given your situation.”

Malcolm stared at him with such intent that Seth became self-conscious. He battled the inappropriate thoughts where he wondered whether Malcolm found him appealing as more than a friend. Did he see him as attractive too? Not only for sex, but as something more? Because going with a man only for sex would never be something he could so—even if he did accept that he couldn’t help being gay. Being alone for the rest of his life somehow seemed worse than anything.

I can’t talk to him about that, though. He’ll think I’m weird.

Seth ached to ask Malcolmsomany questions. There had never been anyone he could talk to about such things.

Maybe if I get the chance to know him better.

Malcolm had insisted that he was capable of love. Did he already have a man he was in love with? Was he searching for one hecouldlove?

Seth lowered his eyes. Dwelling on unlikely possibilities wasn’t going to help him get into a safer situation. What he needed was to focus on figuring out where he would stay first. He already knew what happened when he fixed his hopes on the wrong thing.Heartbreak. His first major crush had been on one of the married church deacons. The beginning of his downward spiral had occurred because he’d wished for something he could never have.

But Malcolm said he wanted to help.

They could still be friends, and he could assist him in that role. Seth sucked in a deep breath and had just about worked up his courage to make a suggestion when Malcolm spoke up.

“Perhaps you could stay in my guest room for tonight.”

Seth’s eyes widened and he froze. His doubts about Malcolm came to the surface, but then he silently admonished himself.

Weren’t you just about to ask him almost the same thing?

“Only tonight?” Seth swallowed hard.

Malcolm scrubbed his face with one hand. “Well…what I was thinking was that once you had a chance to meet Nate, maybe you’d feel different about the arrangement, wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable. He’s my best friend for a reason.” Malcolm winked. “And I’ll still be around. Anytime you want to talk, or need some advice, I’d be happy to be there for you.”

“Oh. Sure.” Seth cleared his throat. “I appreciate the offer. You would know best how to handle things, anyway. I’m not very good at making decisions.”

He’d been hoping for beyond the one night, but what was he thinking? He still didn’t know what sort of life Malcolm led. It was doubtful that he’d want some strange guy hanging around his house all the time. And judging from how nicely Malcolm dressed and the expensive, brand new truck he drove, Seth doubted that his motel rent money would be anything more than a paltry sum in Malcolm’s eyes.

Malcolm gestured to the waitress then asked for take-out containers and the check. He picked up his iPhone that he’d laid on the table after they’d arrived and gave it a glance. “Wow, it’s almost ten. Too late to call Nate tonight, but I’ll hit him up first thing in the morning.” Malcolm regarded him. “You must be tired. When do you need to be at work tomorrow?”

“Um, I actually have the next few days off. I work the Thursday through Sunday lunch and afternoon shift. Eleven to five, then the evening guy comes in.”

Malcolm frowned. “Twenty-four hours per week? That’s all?”

Seth nodded. “That’s better than when I first got there. I started with only fifteen hours, but someone quit.”

“I take it they only pay you minimum there?”

His predicament was embarrassing, but he’d tried the best he could. “I don’t have a verifiable work history. Before they agreed to hire me, I’d been to a couple dozen places. I sort of don’t have a social security card either.”

Malcolm stared at him with the same intense stare as before. It was like he could see inside him, like he knew his innermost feelings and desires. For some reason, it made him tremble, yet he knew his reaction wasn’t from fear.

“And you can’t get your card from where it was you came from? Or work references?”

He shook his head. “No. I can’t have any contact with them or…” His trembling increased, only this time, it was his nerves coming back to torment him. “I’ve been working since I was fourteen. But every job I did was somehow related to the church or someone from the church. I can’t risk them finding me.”

Seth noted how agitated Malcolm was becoming. His lips were pressed in a thin line, his jaw ticking as he rubbed one wrist over and over.

“Do I need to keep an eye out for anyone?”

“Wha—?” Why would that be Malcolm’s problem? “No. No, I’m careful.”

Malcolm narrowed his eyes. “Would there be any reason for them to connect you to Eugene? Have you ever been here in the past, have family members who once lived here, told anyone that you’ve always wanted to see the city attend college here?”

As if I ever would’ve been allowed to leave home for some secular college. Malcolm clearly didn’t understand his upbringing.

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