Page 7 of In the Name of the Father

Malcolm’s eyes narrowed in the slightest. “I’m kind of hungrier than I’d realized. Do you think you’d be able to split a burger with me? I doubt I could eat the whole thing.”

Seth couldn’t tell if Malcolm really wanted the burger, or if he was suggesting they share one for Seth’s benefit. The man was smart.He knows I don’t have anything, but he doesn’t want to hurt my pride. Every minute he was around Malcolm, the more he liked him. His shoulders dropped. The realization both scared and confused him.

“The homosexual is a dirty liar who will say or do anything to corrupt you. All he wants is sex, he has no love in his heart. If you follow him, you are like Adam giving in to the temptation of Eve. You too will be cast out, only this time, it will be from heaven and into the eternal fires of hell.”

His father had shaken his fist at him, his anger making his face ruddy, the veins bulging at his temples the way they always did when he went into one of his rages.

“You must despise the homosexual, fight against the evil that he promotes. Hate all gays and lesbians, for that is how you shall honor your God and uphold His laws.”

“But father, aren’t we supposed to love everyone as we love ourselves?”

Seth brought two fingers to his lip, to the spot where the tiniest scar could still be seen of one looked close enough. Of all the times his father had struck him, that one instance stood out. Not because it was the worst of the beatings or that the words had been the most hurtful. No, that day was forever seared into his memory because he’d been twelve and had finally suspected he was gay. He’d lived in even more fear of his father and God from that moment on.

“Seth? Are you all right?”

He jumped, forgetting for a moment that he hadn’t responded to Malcolm’s question. “Oh, I’m sorry.” He tried to chuckle, but his heart wasn’t in it. Some days he was just so tired of the charade. “I guess I drifted off.”

“That’s okay.” Malcolm gave him one of his beautiful smiles. “If you don’t like burgers, maybe we can pick something else out. Want me to have her bring us the regular menu?”

Seth shook his head. “No, a burger is fine. I mean, if that’s whatyouwant.”

Malcolm seemed to be considering something as he gazed intently at him then nodded slowly. “Burger it is. I’ll also get a piece of the cherry and a piece of the marionberry so you can try both.”

Once Malcolm had ordered their food and Seth had finished stirring cream and sugar into his coffee, he set down his spoon then peered up at Malcolm. Now that they were finally ready to talk, he wasn’t sure he could. The brightness of the light in the diner gave him the impression that a spotlight was illuminating the stain of his sin.

Malcolm folded his hands then rested them on the table. “Seth, I can tell how uncomfortable you are, how nervous. I’m going to hazard a guess that you come from a strict, religious background where you were taught that gays are sinners?” Malcolm snorted. “Or perhaps a less polite term was used?”

Yeah. He has me figured out. Seth swallowed hard. “Both terms were used. But yes, you’re right.”

“Can you tell me how you ended up here in Eugene? I think you know by now that I’d like to help however I can. But I need more information first.”

Seth took a deep breath. He hadn’t left his old life behind so he could continue being the same person. Malcolm was a good man—he was sure of it.

“Well, I was trying to get as far away from home as I could, but I didn’t have much money with me. I needed to go somewhere that wasn’t too small…” He looked down. “Or too big. I’ve never been on my own.”

“Seth. Look at me.” He did as he was told, and Malcolm gave him a warm smile. “That’s better. I want to see those lovely eyes when you speak. And I can understand how being alone in a big city would be intimidating. That makes perfect sense. Where was home?”

“Idaho. Twin Falls, Idaho.”

“What finally made you decide to leave?”

The memory of his last session at the camp slammed into him and he began shaking, the coffee swimming in his gut as he tried to banish the horrific thoughts from his mind.

“I-I had to. Couldn’t stay.”

He couldn’t keep still, his leg jiggling as he reminded himself that everything was all right, that he wasn’t in their clutches anymore. They couldn’t hurt him—no one knew where he’d gone.Malcolm is here and will keep me safe. Maybe he was placing unrealistic expectations on this stranger, but his heart told him Malcolm wouldn’t let those people ever hurt him—the same way he’d stood up to the bullies at the bar.

“Hey, it’s okay, Seth. Everything is okay. Let’s not talk about that particular subject right now.”

Seth ran a hand across the top of his head and tried to slow his breathing. “Thanks. Maybe another time.”

Will there be another time? Perhaps he reallywasplacing too much hope in Malcolm. They might never see each other again.

“If you ever want to talk about it, I’ll be here to listen. No judgements.”

No judgements. What would that be like?

“Thank you. I appreciate it.”

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