Page 4 of Back to Me

Resting his elbow against the bar counter, Julian turns his body toward me, twisting his whiskey glass back and forth with his fingertips. His fingers are strong and lean, and I stare at them longer than necessary. Straightening my back, I take another long sip of the cool, minty drink.

“So, why were you in such a hurry earlier?” he asks.

Swirling what’s left of my drink with the straw, a tightness builds beneath my chest.

“I was supposed to meet a friend. My roommate, actually.” I sigh. “It’s a long story, but I missed it. By the time I finally made it to him, he was already packing up his paints.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Despite his apology, his eyes show no sign of feeling sorry for me or me missing Graham’s night. Instead, his green eyes fill with desire and intensity so strong, I can’t help but feel something darker hidden behind his emerald eyes.

Pressing my lips into a thin line, I run my hand through my long hair, brushing it to the side, over my shoulder. I don’t know what to say to this strange man I’ve only known for a few hours. I try not to let the awkwardness settle between us, and as far as I can tell, Julian doesn’t even notice how uneasy I’m beginning to feel.

Feeling the effects of my second mojito finally settling in the pit of my stomach, I can’t help thinking about Graham. Even as this very attractive man sits next to me, giving me his undivided attention, my mind still wanders. The way Graham’s eyes filled with disappointment as he looked at me and knowing I was probably the last person he wanted to see at that moment. The way his shoulders slumped over in defeat, not wanting to argue with me for another second. And the vision of him walking away from me.

I sigh again with my straw still pinched between my fingers. The sound of ice dancing inside my empty glass brings me from my thoughts. Julian reaches out and slides his hand along my bare thigh, stopping at the hem of my dress.

He gives me the same grin as when we first met. The kind where he displays his perfect teeth, and the corners of his eyes crease, allowing his green eyes to brighten just enough beneath the golden lights of the bar.

Pushing aside any lingering thoughts of Graham, I rest my hand over Julian’s, sliding his fingertips just below the red, silk fabric resting above my thigh.

“So, Julian. Where do you work?”

“Let’s not talk about that right now.” He slowly shakes his head and leans toward me. Brushing my hair aside with his fingertips, I close my mouth and swallow the nerves settling in the pit of my stomach. It feels wrong, all of it.

This has always been the hardest part. The moment where I have to decide how far I really want to take this. Sitting here, with Julian’s warm palm resting against the bare skin of my thigh, I don’t even have to question what he wants. They always have only one thing on their mind.

My shoulders fall when I think about Graham. As the years have passed, I’ve fought hard to pretend I wasn’t in love with him. But knowing how much I’ve disappointed him tonight, it’s even harder right now with Julian sitting in front of me. I quickly remove his hand resting on my thigh.

“It’s getting late. I should go.” I stand up, reaching into my purse. I pull out a ten-dollar bill and place it on the counter. “Thank you for the drinks.”

Julian stands up and grabs onto my elbow, a worried expression spreading across his face. “Was it something I said?”

I fervently shake my head, the desire to leave growing with every passing second. “No. But like I said, it’s been a rough night, and I just want to go home.

His worried expression disappears and is replaced by one of hope. “Can I at least walk you back to your car?”

I send him a half-smile. “Sure.”

I don’t say much on the walk back to my car, but neither does Julian. I’m thankful he’s giving me the silence I need.

Tension grows between us and not the sexual kind or at least, not on my end.

I can tell Julian wanted there to be more tonight, but I just can’t. Not after what I’ve done to Graham. It’s like the image of his back to me as he walked away has been seared into my brain, and the more I think about him, the more I wish I had just gone after him.

When we reach my car, I stop on the sidewalk and turn to face Julian. “Well, it was nice meeting you. Thank you again, for taking me out.” I hold out my hand, hoping we can part ways with a simple handshake.

But Julian doesn’t return my gesture. Instead, he takes several steps toward me, closing the gap between us. His face is now within inches of mine, and I can smell the sour scent of whiskey coming from his mouth. The smell makes me cringe, and small bumps form along the surface of my skin.

His mouth twitches and his emerald green eyes turn dark. He bites his bottom lip and lifts his hand between us, dragging his finger along my bare chest, starting with my collarbone, tracing a line along the edge of the fabric covering my breasts. I swallow nervously, finding myself pinned between my car and Julian. When I turn my head, I now realize he’s caged me in with his body and his arms. The street is empty, and where my car is parked, there’s no overhead light. His face is covered in shadows.

Pushing his hips into me, he watches his finger dance along the open fabric of my dress. I lean back, pressing myself against my car as close as I can.

“What- What are you doing?”

With hooded eyes, he looks up at me, keeping his finger resting subtly between my cleavage. “Come on, Sara. Don’t tell me you don’t know.”

I can tell the whiskey has had an effect on him. A dark caramel color now fills his once bright green eyes and fear creeps under my skin.

“I’m sorry, Julian. I can’t, not tonight.”

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