Page 52 of Back to Me

The panic travels from my throat to my heart. My chest is pounding so hard and so fast, I feel like it might beat right out of my flesh and bone.

I always thought a moment like this would happen fast, in quick flashing sequences like you see on TV or in the movies. The moment the man turns toward me, pressing his palm against my chest, slamming me back against the elevator wall, I know this isn’t fake. We aren’t actors, and there are no cameras. This is real. The pain shooting through my back to my still pounding chest is real.

Each movement he makes is slow and calculated as if he’s planned every motion down to the last detail. With my palms pressed against the cool, mirrored glass of the elevator wall behind me, I hold my breath. He leans in, his hot whiskey laced breath dancing across the line of my jaw. His all too familiar index finger traces a line down my chest, pushing down the edge of my tank top.

“Ju- Julian.” my voice quivers.

“My sweet, sweet and sexy Sara,” he whispers. He clicks his tongue in disapproval as he drags his nose along my cheek, breathing me in. “Where have you been hiding?”

“No- nowhere.” Clenching my hands into fists, I dig my nails into my palms, trying to distract myself from the ever-growing panic coursing through me.

Bending his leg, he presses his thigh against me, forcing my legs to part slightly. I stand on my toes, trying as hard as I can to pull away from him, melting myself against the security of the wall behind me. I turn my head, feeling the glass press against my cheek.

“Don’t lie to me,” he seethes. He clenches his teeth and wraps his fingers around my jaw, forcing me to look into his evil, green eyes. My skin stings from his searing touch. The tip of his ball cap is no longer hiding his face, his bright fiery eyes now exposed. He pouts his lip. “I know it must be difficult losing your job.”

“How did you—?” Confused, I search his amused green eyes for an answer. Suddenly, it makes sense. The night he showed up at Allison’s gallery. The person who bumped into me on the street. The feeling of being followed in the grocery store. Julian has been stalking me.

“You’ve been following me.”

“You call it following.” He halfway shrugs as he runs his thumb across my bottom lip. “I call it watching out for my girl.”

“I’m not your girl.” My jaw ticks, the muscles of my mouth tightening with every passing second. Anger replaces the fear, but soon the fear creeps back in, remembering how my phone is still in my back pocket, pressed against the wall. I have no way of calling for help. Julian’s arms cage me in, just like they had the first night I met him. He’s strong, and from the smell of the liquor still lingering on his tongue, as strong as he was that night.

Breaking the silence in the elevator, Julian laughs, lifting his fingers to brush away the hair in my face.

“Why do you say that, darlin’?” He’s playing with me, but I keep my mouth shut, refusing to give in to his game. “Is it because of that so-called boyfriend of yours? What’s his name again?” His eyes glance up the ceiling as if trying to remember the name. “Oh, yeah,” His eyes return to mine. “Graham.”

Once again, my panic rises. Although I knew Julian would know, somehow hearing Graham’s name fall from his lips throws me into a whole new round of fear. Julian knowing Graham’s name only solidifies how much he knows about my personal life and how long he’s been stalking me.

A lump forms in my throat, and my stomach lurches. Terror washes over me, wondering if I will ever leave this elevator alive. How far is Julian willing to go? He’s been following me for weeks, seemingly dissatisfied with my continued rejection and absence. So, how do I know what he would do to me? What he would do to Graham?

“Stay away from him.” My voice is firm, a contradiction to the way I feel inside.

Again, Julian laughs, pressing his body further into mine, the pressure of his weight burrowing into me. Everything about him suctions all the oxygen from the room, leaving me breathless. My body falls numb, and tears line my eyes, threatening to spill. Julian’s face blurs as I struggle to keep myself together, to not let him see how weak I am on the inside.

His laughing subsides, and he steps away from me. I fall slack against the elevator wall, the absence of his weight a temporary relief. My chest lingers with pain, and I fold my body toward the safety of the wall, welcoming its cold comfort. Guarded, I watch Julian pace the five-foot space of the elevator.

“You see, I’m not interested in your boyfriend.” Removing his hood and ball cap, he scratches his head as he continues to pace back and forth. His body is quick, and he can’t seem to stay still. Moving my hand between my body and the wall, I slide my phone from my back pocket, hoping Julian doesn’t see. Without looking down, I swipe the screen to unlock it.

After a few more paces, Julian stops. “I’m not interested in your boyfriend because he doesn’t mean shit. He never has, and he never will.”

“I’m not sure I know what you mean, Julian.” My thumb is still pressed against the screen of my phone, keeping it unlocked.

Burying his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans, he tilts his head back, sneering. His face is covered with stubble, looking like he hasn’t shaved in days. Despite the fire behind them, dark circles line his seemingly tired eyes. Quickly, he rakes his shaky hand through his disheveled blonde hair.

Then without warning, just as fast as he had earlier, he’s on me. His body presses against mine again, pinning me to the wall. My phone drops to the floor with a loud smack, but Julian remains unfazed.

Tucking my hair behind my ear with one hand, Julian brings his mouth to the side of my face. The panic rises in my throat once again, and I’m panting, gasping for air. With his other hand, he slides his fingers along the waist of my shorts. His lips brush against my ear when he speaks.

“I’ve done a little background investigation into your boyfriend, Sara. You want to know why he isn’t worth shit?” His hot breath bursts against my skin, searing my flesh with every word. Tears spill down my cheeks as I’m forced to listen to Julian’s verbal assault. “Because that worthless piece of shit blames himself for his grandmother’s death. Believes he’s a big, fat fucking disappointment to his father. And you know what? I’d have to agree. Poor little sad, Graham Ward. He’s had such a sad, pathetic little life, hasn’t he?”

He slides his tongue across my bottom lip, and I squeeze my eyes shut, praying he stops. His whole body is on me, and when his lips press against my cheek, I sob.

“Please, Julian,” I beg, my chest quaking.

I want to fall apart. I want to collapse, to allow myself to be swallowed up and suddenly disappear. But when I open my eyes, Julian’s nose is pressing against mine, his eyes staring into my soul.

“Shh, you don’t have to cry.” Holding his finger against my mouth, he hushes me. “He could never take care of you the way I could. He could never love you the way I do.”

Then he kisses me. His lips taste of bitter whiskey, and my stomach turns. I want to vomit, but I force the bile from my throat and press my lips together, squeezing my eyes. I sigh with relief when he doesn’t push the kiss any further. Surprisingly, he backs away, nearly far enough to press his back to the opposite wall. Without breaking his eyes away from mine, he stretches his arm out to his side, pressing the emergency stop button.

Without a sound, the elevator car starts moving, lifting us and stopping on the tenth floor as if the past ten minutes never happened. The elevator dings and the doors slide open.

With a smirk and delight in his green eyes, he says, “Consider leaving him, Sara. You’ll do good to remember how I hate to lose.”

Before the last word has even passed his lips, he steps out onto the tenth floor, leaving me in the elevator. A few seconds pass before the doors close, and I begin the ascent to the sixteenth floor, to my apartment, my home.

Sliding against the wall and collapsing to the floor, I sob against the cool bronzed metal, allowing the cold darkness to swallow me whole.

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