Page 21 of Back to Me

The music fades into the background as I take in every inch of Graham—the way his dark hair falls against his forehead, the way his eyes crease in the corners with every laugh and grin. My heart melts for him, and with every passing second, it becomes increasingly more difficult to fight the feelings I’ve repressed for so long.

One hour and another round of drinks later, the awkwardness from Graham’s comment has disappeared, and we’ve managed to comb through every detail of the work we’ll have to do over the next three months before opening night. I’m relieved when Graham tells me, other than sending pictures to the curator, we won’t have to see him at all. I’m not sure I would be ready to meet the man who has granted Graham’s dream and allowed me to be a part of it.

My cheeks warm, feeling the alcohol coursing through my veins. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this buzzed, and I’m comforted knowing Graham is with me, and I won’t be walking home alone.

Once Graham has paid and Jenna returns with our receipt, my eyes focus on the paper she’s placed in front of him. Haphazardly scribbled on the back of Graham’s receipt is her name followed by seven digits.

I push down the aggravation, refusing to allow her to ruin my night. Briefly glancing at the receipt, Graham shoves it into his pocket, and I feel a part of myself break inside, deep beneath the surface.

Although we don’t speak on our steady walk home, I catch him glancing over at me from the corner of his eye, his mouth lifting into a small smile. And every time, my body warms—my legs, my arms, my chest.

My life with Graham is a constant motion of feeling like I could float away at any moment, then suddenly, without warning, I plummet back down to earth.

The subtle movements he’s makes as we walk along the long street leading to our apartment make me feel like I’m already starting to float away. Then I remember the receipt buried deep inside his pants pocket. I know he saw what she had written down, it would be impossible for him not to have seen it. The idea of him willingly accepting Jenna’s number in front of me burns a hole in my chest, and I’m fighting to keep myself afloat.

Stepping inside of our apartment, I feel the alcohol begin to dissipate. Despite this, the rush of adrenaline from tonight hasn’t worn off.

The only light in our apartment shines through the floor to ceiling windows of our loft above, the bright city lights casting an orange glow on the space. We both walk together through the living room, making our way to the hallway leading to our bedrooms on opposite sides of our apartment.

We stand there, staring at one another. I smile, thinking about how today has been filled with so many highs and so many lows. But as I stare into his blue eyes, in our dimly lit apartment, I focus on what was most important from today.

His mouth spreads into a smile, the dimple pressing into his left cheek. I may not understand Graham and how he truly feels about me, but the one thing I do know is my life is finally beginning, and I have Graham to thank for it.

“Goodnight, Graham.”

“Goodnight, Sara.”

Without another word, I leave Graham in the hallway, wishing for even one night, he was going to bed with me.

---