Page 20 of Back to Me

“Sara?”

“Hmm?” I turn my head back to Graham. This time, his smile has disappeared as worry washes over his face.

“Do you not want to do it?” His voice is a mixture of worry and pleading for me to say yes. Despite his worry, I can’t help the way he makes me feel as every word drips from his perfect mouth.

I think back to all the times I had asked Allison to allow me to hang one of my designs in her gallery, every time, hearing a resounding no. I think back to all the sleepless nights through college, pushing myself to do the best I could, to prove I could be anything I wanted to be. And I think about my life now. I’m grateful for the job I have, but is that really what I want? Is being an assistant really what I’ve dreamed of for as long as I can remember?

Then there’s Graham. I look into his pleading and desperate eyes, waiting for me to say yes. Isn’t this what I’ve wanted for him all along? For someone to notice him and give him the opportunity he deserves?

I swallow again, lifting my nearly empty mojito to my lips.

You would do nearly anything for the one you love as long as they were happy.

Resting my empty glass back onto the table, my stomach flutters. I smirk, determined to give Graham the same smile in my eyes as he gave me.

“Okay.”

Abruptly, he sits up, nearly jumping out of his seat.

“Really? You will?”

“Of course,” I say softly. “Graham, this is incredible. Thank you.”

He slowly shakes his head before he stops.

“No, Sara, thank you.” He’s beaming with excitement when our waitress, Jenna, reappears. I don’t even care she’s returned, giving Graham the same look of desire as before. Because there’s one thing this girl doesn’t have—the ability to put a smile on Graham’s face like I just did.

My excitement for this job and how it will benefit me is pushed to the side. Even if hating my job wasn’t part of the reason, I would still do it. I would do it for Graham.

He winks at me before turning to Jenna. “I think we’re going to need another round of drinks. We’re celebrating!”

I raise my eyebrows, laughing under my breath, shocked to hear Graham ordering another beer.

Jenna smiles again, keeping her attention focused on Graham. “Well, whatever it is you’re celebrating, congratulations.”

Graham and I both thank her before she walks away, retrieving our second round of drinks.

With my pulse racing at an alarming rate and the reality beginning to set in, I grin.

“Oh, shit, Graham. This is amazing. I can’t believe this is really happening.”

“I know.” His smile is so wide, displaying his perfectly, straight teeth. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this happy. “I’m so excited, I could kiss you right now.”

I blink several times, unsure if he just said the words I think he did. Blood drains from my body, the sensation spilling down my arms and down onto the concrete beneath my feet. Heat rises in my cheeks, realizing he’s never once said those words to me.

Graham’s body immediately stills, frightened by his own words. I close my mouth, attempting to take in steady, calming breaths through my nose. My heart pounds, and I’m convinced it can be heard over the music and chatter suspended between the open space of the patio.

“I- I’m sorry, Sara,” he mutters. “I think I just let the excitement get to me. I didn’t mean it.”

And then I feel it—another piece of me crack. I’m not sure how much more of Graham’s misleading words I can take. But this time, I feel something different—like this time, he somehow meant what he said. It’s a hard feeling to explain. I get lost in the confusion that is Graham.

It doesn’t take Jenna as long to return to us with our second round of drinks. Silence falls upon the table, and I’m unable to speak, feeling the tears threatening to spill and ruin the great night I’ve had thus far. His demeanor immediately shifts, and I can see the struggle hidden behind his eyes to rewind to a few minutes earlier. Clearing his throat and ridding himself of the awkwardness that’s fallen upon our table, he raises his beer.

“To new beginnings and showing the world just how amazing we are.”

Slowly lifting my glass, I quietly say, “To us.”

Graham’s eyes shine under the setting sun as he stares into mine. I examine them, searching for some deeper meaning. Even if his words may not have some alternate meaning, his body says otherwise. Sometimes, just like our bodies and souls, there’s more to words than what appears to be on the surface.

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