Page 94 of Gambler's Fallacy

Vortex leads me into the kitchen, and I let him nudge me into a chair while he moves around Caleb’s kitchen like he owns the place.

“Do you know how to cook?” I ask him, trying to find something to think about that isn’t the messy dynamic between the four of us. “Caleb says he’s going to try to make this…” I falter as the thought brings back the too-vivid memories of earlier that night, but I can’t let it destroy everything I’ve worked to build up. “This soup.”

Vortex snorts. “Yeah, I’d love to see him try,” he says with a smirk. “Make sure I’m there when he decides to try.”

A tiny smile curves onto my lips. “You think it’ll be that bad?” I ask.

“Oh yeah,” he says, turning to face me after filling the kettle with water. “And I sort of know how to cook the basics. I’m always running around here, though, so I don’t have much time for anything fancy.”

“Because you’re all workaholics,” I say pointedly.

“Caleb is working a lot less than he used to,” Vortex says with a hum. “That’s thanks to you, by the way. You’ve been really good for him.”

I wonder again if I should’ve insisted that Caleb join us, if I damaged anything by letting them push me onto Vortex.

“For me, too,” Vortex says, his voice sobering. “Seven…”

I squirm. I have a feeling I know where this is going, and I don’t like it.

“I’m sorry about last time,” he continues, watching me. “I should’ve told you I wasn’t comfortable. It was my mistake, and I don’t want you blaming yourself.”

It’s too late for that. Ihadmade him uncomfortable, and I’d essentially made him do something he hadn’t wanted to do.

How bad of a person do I have to be to have done that?

I shrink in on myself, and he walks over to me, resting his hands on my shoulders.

“Stop,” he orders, the word firm but gentle. “Seven, we’re all going to make mistakes. I don’t want you to keep blaming yourself for that.”

I think about Havoc, who keeps beating himself up for fucking me when he’d been so angry that day. I’d told him not to blame himself for that, but I understand a little better how he must’ve felt.

“Everything between us is fine, as far as I’m concerned,” Vortex says. He leans down to kiss me, and I part my lips for him as his tongue teases against them. The kiss is urgent, deep, and I melt against him. “Okay?” he murmurs against my mouth.

I still don’t know how I feel, but I nod anyway.

“I’d tell you if I was angry, beautiful boy,” he says.

“You didn’t last time,” I say, tears welling up in my eyes. “You just avoided me.”

“I’ll make it up to you,” Vortex says. “Starting right now.” Ignoring the kettle as it beeps, he scoops me up into my arms. I squeak but cling to him as he carries me toward my bedroom. He lowers me onto the bed, and I clutch at him to keep him from pulling away from me.

“I’m going to take good care of you, beautiful,” Vortex says. “You’re going to feel so good—and nothing but good, understood? Caleb and Havoc can rough you up, but I’m going to torture you with gentleness.”

I laugh weakly. “Thatistorture,” I say.

He flashes a smirk at me. “I know.” He kisses me again, cupping my face in his large hands. It’s a slow, sweet kiss, something I don’t get from anyone but Vortex, and I find that I need it more than I’d ever have expected.

I’d always dreaded it. The people who’d wanted slow and sweet had been worse than the ones who’d only wanted to use me.

I shut the door on that thought before it can go too much further.

Vortex’s hands slide back down to my shoulders, then farther down, and he unbuttons the fancy dress shirt I’d worn to the restaurant. I inhale sharply as he bares my chest to him, wondering what he’s thinking.

“You are so perfect,” he whispers. “Just the way you are.”

I don’t believe that for a second, but it warms me to hear it anyway because I want to believe it.

His fingers trail down my chest, over the scars there, and I start to tense. He shakes his head, though, telling me, “I’ve seen these, Seven. They don’t make me think any differently of you.”

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