Page 56 of Gambler's Fallacy

I hear heavy footsteps, and I brace myself for more harsh words.

“What’s going on?” Vortex asks, and even though I don’t deserve the comfort, he wraps his arms around me.

“I didn’t know Seven was supposed to be working this morning,” Nat says earnestly. “But Linda…” Their voice darkens. “She laid into him pretty hard for not showing up.”

“I’m not apologizing,” Linda says sharply. “He shirked his work,and this is nicer than I would have been to most.” After a pause, she adds, “But he took it harder than I expected.”

“I’ll talk to him,” Vortex says, stroking my hair before taking my hand and tugging lightly. “Let’s go upstairs,” he tells me, his voice so gentle that it makes me wobble because I don’t deserve it.

I don’t deserve any kindness—not from him, not from anyone.

But I’m grateful for it anyway.

“I hope you feel better,” Nat says.

It takes me a second to realize they’re talking to me, but I rasp out, “Thank you.” I press close to Vortex’s side on the opposite side of where Linda is standing, not wanting to get close to her.

Vortex guides me toward the hotel, steadying me when I trip over nothing at all because I can’t see through the barely-contained tears in my eyes.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Vortex says, rubbing my back when we get into the elevator. “Do you want me to call Caleb or Havoc?”

I can’t handle the idea of all three of them staring at me in disappointment. I shake my head.

“Okay,” Vortex says. He falls silent, and it isn’t until the elevator dings that he tugs gently at my hand.

I blink several times, trying to clear my vision, then let him lead me into the penthouse.

“Let’s get you settled,” he tells me.

“Be mad at me,” I mumble. “I deserve it.”

He sighs. “I’m not mad, Seven. I’m…” He lets out a frustrated noise. “I wish you hadn’t skipped work to gamble, but that’s something to talk about later. Not right now.”

I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed, baby.

I sob, hiding my face in my hands.

“I know I… I messed up,” I croak out. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“I know, beautiful,” he says, leading me to the couch.

I sit down, and Nacho jumps up on my lap. I feel something against my ankles and look down to see Miss K brushing againstthem. It’s like they know, and it makes the tears roll down my cheeks. I don’t deserve their love, either.

Vortex sits down next to me, then pulls me easily into his lap. “Cry it out,” he says quietly. “Then we can talk.”

It’s like the permission to cry opens up a dam inside of me, and I start to sob — ugly, heaving things that will make me blotchy and unattractive, but I can’t help it. I can’t stop it, not for several minutes while Vortex strokes my back and murmurs unintelligible words to me like anything can comfort me right now.

Nothing can.

Nothing can make this better.

“Do you still want me?” I whisper to him, my voice still raspy.

“Of course I want you,” he says, and he sounds surprised. “Why wouldn’t I, Seven? You made a mistake. It’s not the end of the world.”

I look at him, then lean in to kiss him.

When he doesn’t kiss me back, despair races through me again.

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