Page 45 of Gambler's Fallacy

“Yeah,” Vortex says with a grunt. Caleb must’ve put pressure on one of the bruises.

I follow his example, opening the balm I’d grabbed and looking at Havoc. “Do you want me to get your back, too, or…?” I prompt. Feeling useful is helping, sort of, but I really wish I was getting kissed and railed into the mattress to shake this horrible feeling, these horrible memories and thoughts.

Havoc shrugs. “Yeah, sure. It’s mostly bruises. Nobody got really hurt.” He pauses for a second. “Okay, neither ofusgot really hurt.”

Again, the urge to ask what actually happened threatens to overtake me, but I don’t. Instead, I get behind Havoc and examine his back. It’s not that bad — at least, it’s not as bad as his chest and stomach — but I still carefully rub some of the ointment into the bruises in silence. I wish Caleb would ask what happened so I can find out, but I keep biting my tongue to avoidworrying my pretty little head about it.

“Do I want to know whodidget hurt?” Caleb asks. He does something to make Vortex groan loudly. “Never mind. Ignorance is bliss, I’m sure.”

I’m disappointed — and I suspect that they’re going to have a conversation once I’m not around. I should feel bitter and left out, but at the same time…

What if it was my family?

Am I better off notknowing?

“It wasn’t—” I begin, almost asking, but I shake my head. Ignorance probably is bliss in this circumstance.

I finish rubbing the ointment into Havoc’s back and move to stand in front of him so I can keep going.

He flops onto his back—the back I’d just rubbed ointment on—and smiles up at me. “You’ve got a magic touch, Seven,” he says. “My back doesn’t even ache anymore.”

“It’s this stuff,” I say, holding up the jar. I crawl onto the bed next to him, kneeling beside him. “It helps a lot.” I make a face. “Kinda takes the fun away, though. I like the feeling of the bruises…” I trail off.

I like the bruisestheyleave, anyway.

I lean down, intent on Havoc. Vortex and Caleb are conferring quietly behind me, but I ignore them as I focus on Havoc.

Some things, I don’t need to know.

Havoc draws me down to lie almost on top of him, pulling me into a kiss. I open for him, glad to finally have something that’s more grounded, morereal, to focus on.

I lift my hips enticingly, hoping that Vortex or Caleb will take a hint.

“Why are you so good?” Havoc murmurs. His eyes are half closed, and he nips at my lips again. “Seriously, Seven, I’m around you and everything gets better.”

Not everything. I hadn’t been able to make him feel better after the phone call from his mother. I still haven’t been able to reassure him that I’d enjoyed the rough sex, that it hadn’t bothered me at all.

But I can do this.

“I’m not that good,” I say, “but I’ll do the best I can.” I trail kisses from his lips down to his chin, then farther down. “How do you want me?”

Havoc reaches down for his jeans and undoes the fly. “Frot against me. I need you now.”

Disappointment runs through me that he doesn’t want anythingmore substantial, but I nod and push my pajama pants down. “Lube?” I ask.

He reaches over and grabs the bottle of lube that Caleb had brought, and I squeeze some of it into my hands so I can warm it before slicking up our cocks with it. I lean back down, slowly rubbing my cock against his.

I hear movement behind me, and warm hands settle onto my waist. I don’t have to look up to know it’s Vortex, and I make a soft sound as he leans down to kiss my shoulder blade before nipping it.

The bed shifts as Caleb gets up and goes back to the armchair. I can’t see him anymore, but knowing he’s in the room, knowing all three of them are here, grounds me.

“What if you slide your cock between Seven’s thighs?” Caleb suggests. “Then you might knock against Havoc’s cock too.”

Vortex lets out a huff. “Yeah, because I really want that,” he mutters. But he slots against my legs anyway with a groan, leaning down on me and pushing me harder against Havoc. I moan at the increased friction, then kiss Havoc again with more urgency.

Havoc kisses back, then he huffs out a small laugh. “Careful you don’t crush Seven between us, Vortex.”

“I don’t mind,” I say hoarsely — and I don’t. It’ll feel good, knowing I’m safe between the two of them.

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