Page 27 of Gambler's Fallacy

I don’t want to be like my stepfather.

SIX

SEVEN

My ass is stillsore from the previous day.

It’s not worse than anything else I’ve experienced, though. I don’t even wince while I sit at the table and pick at my breakfast.

Caleb and Vortex are going over the day’s schedule, something about meetings and security and some upcoming MMA fight. It doesn’t concern me, so I ignore them while I try to drum up the appetite to eat the scrambled eggs Vortex cooked for me.

I know Havoc thinks I’m upset about the way he fucked me, hard and fast and brutal against the wall, but it’s not that. It’s that no matter what I’d said, I hadn’t been able to get him out of the melancholy mood he’d been in.

Maybe if I’d told him the truth, that I’d already been freaked out before that had even begun, he would’ve felt less bad about himself. But I can’t. I don’t know how to explain that the thought of him training me tofight, to actively go against the wishes of someone around me, had terrified me more than anything else.

I take a bite of the eggs, but they don’t taste like anything at all. I force myself to chew and swallow, still tuning out the conversation as I try to make sense of my own thoughts.

The fuck had been nice, really. It had been a distraction from everything else. It had been a way to forget the threat to teach me to fight, the way his mother’s call had thrown him off balance, the way he’d punched the wall, and maybe… Just maybe, I wondered for a fraction of a second if he’d ever throw a punch atme.

I force that thought away in a hurry, not because I don’t think he would, but also because I wouldn’t do anything if he did. If he hit me, it would be because I deserved it.

It always is.

“Seven? Are you listening, pet?” Caleb asks, cutting into my thoughts.

I jump, guilt flooding me as I realize he must’ve been trying to get my attention. I focus on him instead of my convoluted thoughts. “What?” I ask. “Um. No, sorry. I was eating.” It would probably be more convincing if I had actually eaten more than a bite of the food.

Vortex eyes me, and he asks, “Do you want something else?”

I shake my head quickly. “No. I’m not really hungry.”

Vortex’s voice is careful as he asks, “Did something happen with Havoc?”

I recognize the edge in it, though. If he thinks Havoc upset me, things could get ugly. “No.”

Caleb shakes his head minutely. “I was asking what your plans were for the day, Seven. Vortex or Havoc could take you out again, or you can stay in and play with the cats.”

“I was going to go to the casino.” No matter what they say, I know I can get better if I can figure out the way Havoc counts cards. Never mind that I’ve tried over and over. I’ve even looked up strategies on the phone they’d given me, but I can’t wrap my head around the numbers.

Maybe that’s why I keep failing.

I don’t miss the look that Caleb and Vortex exchange, though, and I scowl.

“What?” I demand. “I’m sticking to the limits you set!”

Caleb’s mouth thins into disapproval. “So you are. But I thinkyou’ve done enough gambling lately. Far be it from me to warn against the dangers of gambling addiction…”

Vortex winces.

“If you want to play blackjack again, you’ll have to do other things first.” Caleb taps on his phone. “Your choice. Do you want to help the housekeeping staff, the admin staff in my office, or the event staff while they set up for tonight?”

None of those options sound even remotely appealing, especially when compared to the allure of the blackjack tables.

I’d spent a few hours with housekeeping one day, only to realize how disgusting and rude people are, and the office… The computers intimidate me, which isn’t something I’m going to admit. If I do, they’ll insist on getting me properly trained, which means yet another person will realize how stupid I am.

“Master,” I wheedle, trying for that sweet spot. “I can do those things later. I don’t have to do them first.”

Instead of Caleb responding, Vortex interjects quietly, “Seven. You need to do something other than gambling. Even sitting up here isn’t healthy for you. You know that we can keep you safer if you’re with the rest of the staff.”

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