Page 8 of Gambler's Fallacy

Even when he puts his arms around me, I only feel numb.

The car starts moving, the two of them talking to each other in a way that sounds muffled, like it’s coming through a thick steel door with three separate locks.

I shiver even though it’s not cold outside — but I am, and it runs straight through me, right to my bones, until my teeth are chattering. I can’t keep doing this. I’m worrying them. I’m freaking out over what they’re trying to tell me is nothing, but I know what my family does to people that piss them off.

By standing with me, Havoc and Vortex have done just that. At least Caleb mostly stays in the casino, where he’s surrounded by security, but the two of them? They’re at risk.

It isn’t until the car finally slows and someone tugs gently at my arm that I blink my eyes open. Everything is hazy, and I have to blink again and again, trying to clear my vision.

“—upstairs,” Vortex is speaking, I realize. “We’ll get him in a warm bath.”

“Yeah.” Havoc coaxes me out of the car. As soon as I’m on two feet, I wrap my arms around him as tight as I can. “Fuck, Seven, sorry. Whatever we did, sorry.”

I shake my head quickly, croaking out, “No! No, no, you didn’t… You didn’t do anything.” Panic flares again because I obviously messed up if they think they did something wrong.

All they’d done was tell me the terrible truth I should’ve realized before.

Havoc and Vortex guide me toward the employee elevator. My breathing starts to ease once the elevator doors close.

I’ve made a fool of myself. I’m pathetic. Nobody wants me if I’m crying.

You don’t look pretty when you cry, baby.

I force myself to let go of Havoc.

“I’m sorry, sir,” I say, forcing myself to smile. “I’ll make it up to you.” The words come instinctively, something I’ve said so many times when I’ve made mistakes.

It doesn’t seem to help, though.

Havoc looks stunned.

“You don’t need to make anything up to either one of us,” Vortex says, his voice fierce as he pulls me into a crushing hug. “And fuck, Seven, you don’t need to call ussir.”

Despite what he says, I can hear the anger, and I can see Havoc’s fists clenching. They’re furious with me.

Havoc takes a heavy breath, and I tense, waiting for the rebuke, the blow.

“Should I call Caleb?” Havoc asks.

“No,” Vortex says, at the same time that I say, “Please.”

At least Caleb won’t be mad at me.

Unless he is, because I spoiled this for everyone.

I squeeze my eyes shut. “No. Sorry. You don’t have to bother him.”

“No, it’s fine,” Vortex tells me, and he releases me when the elevator doors open before grabbing my hand. “Come on. Havoc will call him, and I’ll get you into a bath. It’ll make you feel better. Or we can cuddle on the sofa.”

Maybe if we go to the bathroom, Havoc will push me under again.

Maybe this time, he won’t let me back up.

I notice Havoc on the phone. His eyes are on me as he talks to Caleb. Havoc nods, and after a few seconds says, “Got it.” After he hangs up, he says, “Caleb’s on his way. He says to make tea.” After a pause, he adds, “I’m not asking. You’re going to sit with us and drink tea, okay?”

I swallow hard, but the clear direction helps — a little. “Okay,” I whisper. “I’m so… I’m so sorry.”

“You haven’t done anything to apologize for,” Vortex says. “I’ll go make the tea.” He kisses my forehead, then nudges me in Havoc’s direction. It would be funny if I wasn’t still freaking out.

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