Page 65 of Gambler's Fallacy

“Like I was going to do anything else,” Havoc scoffs. He puts his arm around my shoulder again. “Okay. It’s probably better to get it over with, like a bandaid.”

I shake my head, but I let Havoc lead me toward the couch. He sits down, and I settle down in his lap, resting my head against his shoulder as I try to tell myself that everything is fine, that everything will be fine, even though I have a sinking suspicion that it might not be.

Havoc loops his arms around my waist and kisses my neck. “It’ll be fine. My mom used to lecture me when I was young, and mostly she wanted me to know that she disapproved.” He huffs against the nape of my neck. “I stopped listening to her when she started dating the Step Asshole though. You can probably ignore whatever Caleb says.”

I nod, but I don’t feel any better.

I wish Vortex was here, too — at least, I do until I think about what Caleb had said. What else had Vortex told him?

Caleb returns without the cats. He sits down on the armchair again, doing that infuriating thing where he watches calmly without saying anything.

I squirm on Havoc’s lap. “Well?” I demand. “Just say whatever you want to say.”

Havoc tightens his grasp reassuringly.

“All right.” Caleb leans forward. “I’ve heard from Linda that you missed work in favor of blackjack. You spent all morning at the tables. Was there a reason for this?”

I scowl at him. “I didn’t want to go to work.”

That’s not even entirely a lie, but I don’t want to tell them the truth.

I’d been so anxious about my family possibly sending someone to keep an eye on me that I hadn’t been able to stand the idea of being around Linda — who reminds me so much ofherthat I can barely handle it on a good day.

Caleb doesn’t need to know that, though.

Havoc’s arms loosen. “Seven… You can’t skip work.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway now,” I snap at him. “She fired me.” Hurt and anxiety race through me as that conversation plays again in my mind. She’d been so angry. It had been dumb, and I’d made a mistake, but she’d been furious with me.

I’m not sure what was worse: her reaction or mine, though.

“She didn’t fire you,” Caleb says. “She talked to me and asked what was going on. She felt bad about making you have a panic attack… but that leads us to the other issue. What set it off, Seven?”

“She said she couldn’tuse me,” I say bitterly, ignoring Caleb’s question. “Because I’m not reliable, because I made one mistake. She hates me.”

“Linda’s pretty chill, though.” Havoc strokes my stomach gently. “If she’s willing to give you another chance…”

“She’s not ‘chill,’” I snap. “You weren’t there. You didn’t hear her.”

“Linda was understandably upset because you not only didn’t go to work, you didn’t contact anyone about the fact that you wouldn’t be there. It was disrespectful to her time, as well as to all the other peoplewho were relying on you, Seven,” Caleb interrupts. “I have full sympathy for her situation, especially right now when she’s juggling several different shows and we’re gearing up for the end-of-year season.”

I glare at Caleb, but the fact is that I’m not used to people relying on me.

I’m not used to being important, and honestly, I don’t think I like it.

“It was amistake,” I emphasize. “I wasn’t going to make it a habit. I…” What justification will he actually listen to? That I forgot? That I didn’t feel like it?

Anything but the truth, that I’d felt scared and helpless and I hadn’t wanted to face her.

Caleb shakes his head. “It wasn’t a mistake. A mistake is adding up the numbers wrong, or misspelling a word. Not showing up to work and going to sit at the tables instead is a deliberate choice.”

I look at Havoc, desperate for him to stand up for me, but he looks torn.

Maybe he even looks disappointed.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say, swallowing around the lump in my throat.

“I’m going to insist,” Caleb says sternly. “We’ve got enough trouble looming around us. We can’t afford for you to disappear on us because of amistake.”

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