Page 67 of Power Forward

Is she going to tell me to leave? Tell me that I have no right looking after the kids or tell me that she doesn’t approve of Jackson’s and my relationship?

Fuck. What if she makes his life hell because of me?

You’re overthinking things, my conscience says, sounding a lot like Roberta’s voice.

Maybe, but I’m not sure how I’m supposed to play this. One side of me wants to tell her she’s too hard on Jackson. How she needs to give him more credit, considering he’s the main parent. How she doesn’t really have the authority to criticize him when she’s the one who comes for a few days every couple of months. But then the other side of me wants to keep my lips sealed tight. To just nod and play nice because I don’t want to make things more difficult for him.

Sighing, I slip my phone from my pocket and text Jackson to let him know Laura’s here. He responds almostinstantly to say he’ll be home within the hour as they’re finishing up.

Okay. I can do this. I can survive an hour with the love of my life’s ex-wife.

Taking a deep breath, I pick up the bowls and carry them into the living room, where Isabela’s showing Laura some pictures she painted at school and Ryan’s showing her his recent math test results.

“Here you go!” I say, handing over the bowls. The kids take them from me with an enthusiastic thank-you, and then I hand the other to Laura.

“Thank you, this looks great,” she replies.

I sit down in the chair, letting Laura and the kids take the couch, and quietly eat my dessert. Episodes ofBlueyplay on a continuous loop, and I end up so engrossed in the show I don’t realize it’s gone eerily quiet.

I glance over to where Laura’s standing behind the couch, hands resting on the back of the cushions.

“The kids wanted to watch a movie on the big screen,” she clarifies, pointing to the open door that leads down to the theater room.

“Oh, yeah, that’s a good idea.”

Silence falls again, and it’s so fucking painful. I subtly look at my watch. Where the heck is Jackson? Doesn’t he know I need saving right now?

“So, how do you know Jackson?” she asks, clearly not picking up on the awkward tension radiating from me.

“We used to be teammates. Played together in Boston.”

Surprise flicks over her face. “Oh. I know Jackson loved his time in Boston. Well, until it was all ruined after he was traded.”

Ruined.You ruined it.

I ruined his memories of his time in Boston.

I ruined the joyous moments he had.

I ruined it.

There’s a numb sensation between my ears, like time is slowing and being dragged under a metaphorical wave. And Laura continues talking, completely oblivious to the dark pit I’m falling into.

“He was seeing someone there, I’m sure you know. But Jackson genuinely thought they were going to spend the rest of their lives together. He was thinking about where he would propose, where they would get married. He had planned out how they would spend their retirement. The whole thing. He was completely in love with them. Then he got the call he was traded.”

My throat closes up. Fuck. I can’t breathe.

He was going to propose to me?

You ruined his life. You don’t deserve him.

Numbness travels up my legs and my arms.

She throws her arms up in the air and shakes her head, disgust written all over her face. I’m not sure whether the disgust is aimed at me or, well… me. Because clearly, she has no idea that she’s referring to me.

“It was like he was just… abandoned! He had to move to this strange city where he didn’t know anyone.”

My chest becomes impossibly tight at the thought of Jackson, confused and alone and hurting over the trade. Over leaving me.

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