Page 54 of Power Forward

She’s not wrong, but what am I earning seven figures a year for if I’m not going to spend it on my kids?

We’ve just come out of the final appointment in regards to Isabela’s diagnosis. Over the last few weeks, we’ve met with various specialists, such as developmental pediatricians, child psychiatrists and psychologists, and neurologists, and had meetings with her teachers on how her school can provide the appropriate support. I’ve come away with more information than my brain can process right now, but I feel more confident that Isabela is going to get the support she needs, especially when she goes into first grade. But it’s beena hard process. Having to watch as your child is visibly uncomfortable around all these strangers doing various different tests and assessments on her and not being able to do anything about it because it’s necessary for her development. It fucking sucked. But I’m glad it’s done now, and we can move forward with a suitable plan.

“Of course we can, peanut,” I say to Isabela while I carry her back to the car, then turn to my mom. “Are you coming for ice cream?”

She shakes her head. “No, you go. Remember, Ryan has hockey practice after school, so you’ll need to pick him up at six.”

I raise my hand and give her a salute, which causes Isabela to giggle. We wave my mom goodbye, and I strap Isabela into her seat.

“So, do you want ice cream or cupcakes?” I ask her.

Her face lights up, and she shakes her fists in excitement. “Cupcakes!”

“Okay, you got it.” I kiss the top of her head and hand over her iPad, then climb into the driver’s seat.

I’m pulling away from the curb when Hayden’s name appears on the dashboard with an incoming call. Grinning, I hit the green Answer button.

“Hey, Cas. I’m in the car with Isabela,” I say quickly, giving him the heads-up.

There have been a few close calls where he’s called me and was about to spill some filthy talk until I let him know the kids were in the car. We’ve both learned our lesson.

“Hey, Jax. Hey, peanut.”

I glance in the rearview mirror to see Isabela hiding her toothy grin behind her elephant.

“It’s Hayden. You gonna say hi?”

She shakes her head, but she’s still smiling.

“She’s gone all shy,” I chuckle.

His laugh is like a smooth caress through the car speakers. “I was just calling to see how the appointment went.”

I relay everything the specialist told us about the changes we need to make at Isabela’s school, the additional support groups I need to enroll her in, and the changes we need to make at home.

“They recommended I create visual aids to show her when I will be home because I don’t have the most structured home environment, especially during the season, and establish some clear routines.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, when I’m home, it’s usually chaotic because I’m just happy to be home with them. My mom is the one with the structured routine, and that goes out the window as soon as I’m home with them.”

That was something that was hard to hear. That I might have been doing more harm than good. But I’m ready and willing to do whatever’s necessary.

“That’s doable. Even if you apply what your mom does, then add in some extra dad time.”

“True, and they mentioned a behavioral chart. Like stickers or tokens to reinforce positive behavior.”

“Which will be hard for you,” Hayden laughs softly. “You know you’ll need to do the same for Ryan so she doesn’t feel singled out.”

I pull up to a stop light and scrub my face, thinking about the conversation I need to have with Ryan too. “Yeah,I know. It’s a good thing he’s such a good kid that he won’t bat an eye.”

He hums. There’s a small beat of silence. I can hear Isabela murmuring to herself in the back, and I quickly glance in the mirror to find her fixated on the iPad that’s playing an episode ofBluey.

“Is there anything I can do?” he finally asks, and my smile is instant.

This man.

He never fails to make me feel like I’m nineteen all over again, feeling giddy when my crush first spoke to me in the locker room.

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