Page 16 of Power Forward

Jackson’s face lights up when he laughs softly, and the sight steals my breath. “Thanks, I will.”

We stand there awkwardly. Neither of us is quite sure how to say goodbye, but in the end, Jackson gives a firm nod.

“Take care, Hayden. It was good to see you.”

“You too,” I say, and I’m not ashamed to admit my eyes drop to his ass as he makes his way to the exit.

I guess there’s one thing that hasn’t changed.

Chapter Seven

Jackson

The sound of my bedroom door opening stirs me awake, followed by soft footsteps. I lift my head, blinking my sleepy eyes into focus to see Ryan heading toward me.

“Dad?” he whispers. “Can I get into your bed?”

“Yeah,” I croak. “Course you can, bud.”

I lift the duvet, allowing him to climb in and lie down next to me. Then, I crane my neck to look at the time on the alarm clock. 3:25 a.m.

We had a home game last night, and luckily, today is our day off. There’s no practice or video sessions, and I don’t need to think about anything hockey related until tomorrow morning. Though, I’ll still do a workout in my home gym while the kids watch a movie. I set up a TV and couch in the gym purely so they could still be with me while I get in my cardio, but other than that, I plan on doing nothing except spending the day with my kids.

“You okay?” I quietly ask him after a beat.

“Yeah, just a bad dream,” he whispers back.

“Wanna hug it out?”

I can feel his nod against the pillow more than I can see it, so I open my arms, and he curls into me.

It’s not unusual for one or both of them to end up in my bed at some point during the night, but sometimes Ryan has nightmares. They are more frequent at the start of the school year, and again when the regular season starts. He hasn’t elaborated on what happens in these dreams, but it’s another arrow in my wing that I’m failing them. I can’t fight them off for him, but I can give him a safe space to come to when they wake him up.

Pressing a kiss to the top of his head, I allow my eyes to fall closed again when he relaxes. “It was just a dream. I’ve got you.”

“I know.” A moment of silence passes before he says, “I love you, Dad.”

My heart squeezes in my chest, and the back of my eyelids burn at those three words. There will soon come a day where I won’t get to hear those words from him. He’ll be too cool to tell his old man he loves him, so I cherish every single one.

“I love you too. Get some sleep. I’ll be right here.”

Between me falling back to sleep and waking up all bleary-eyed, Isabela has joined me and Ryan. Her little arm rests against my throat, and her hand cups my chin. A small smile creeps onto my face. At least she didn’t knee me in the balls this time.

I carefully move her arm, tucking it under the duvet, and then I climb out of bed like a ninja so as not to wake them up. I throw on a T-shirt and head downstairs, making myself a coffee and opening the kitchen window to let insome air. After fifteen minutes, there’s still no sign of the kids. I head back up with my coffee in hand and stop in the doorframe at the sight. Ryan’s curled himself around my pillow, and Isabela has slipped one hand under his while clutching her stuffed elephant with the other. It’s these moments that mean everything to me. There’s no outside world getting in the way. It’s just me and my kids and hours of uninterrupted time together.

I know I could have this all the time if I retired, but I’m not sure I’m ready to give up hockey yet. Sure, I get paid a pretty penny for my job, so much so I’ve got both their college tuitions stashed away in a bank account, along with money to buy them a car and a down payment for a house. And I’ve still got enough to see me through for the rest of my life.

Does it make me selfish for not wanting to give up hockey so I can be more present in my kids’ lives? Maybe. But I’m trying to convince myself that it’s not selfish because I’m setting them up to have everything they could ever need or want. And hopefully, they will be proud of me too.

Rounding the bed, I quietly place my mug on the night table. I slip back under the covers next to Isabela and place my hand on the top of Ryan’s head, stroking the soft blond strands. He wanted to start growing his hair at the start of the year because Elliot decided to grow his. He thinks our goalie is one of the coolest guys ever, cooler than me by a long shot. It creates a warmth inside me that spreads throughout my body that my kids adore my teammates just as much as they adore my kids.

We had it good in Buffalo, but it wasn’t until I came to Chicago that I truly felt part of a family. We’re more thanteammates. We’re a band of brothers who love and care and always have each other’s backs. They’ve taken us in and made us feel more welcome than any other team I’ve played for.

Except for maybe Boston, but it was more one person who made me feel like I was home rather than the whole team.

Deciding to make the most of this relaxed, peaceful morning, I pick up my book with my free hand, balancing it in my lap while I sip on my coffee. I manage to get through four chapters before they both stir awake. I close my book and put it aside.

“Finally!” I fake-cry, playing into the dramatics that ends up making them laugh. “I didn’t think you’d ever wake up. I thought I was gonna have to spend the day on my own.”

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