Page 2 of Power Forward

“Yeah, that’s right.” I smile softly, keeping my voice gentle and calm. “I’ll take lots of photos so you can look through them when I’m home.”

She blinks at me with her big blue eyes. I can see the fat tears clinging to her lashes through the camera. “And cake?”

Some of the tension leaves my shoulders as I laugh. “I don’t think the cake will survive the flight home, but how about this? I promise I’ll take you to the bakery, and you can choose a cake. Maybe I’ll even ask Jacob if he can make you a special one.”

And just like a switch has been flicked, the tears suddenly stop, and an excited expression takes over her face.

“Okay,” she says gleefully, and I make a mental note to speak with Jacob about ordering a custom cake in the same flavors as the wedding cake when I’m home. Maybe it’s a bad thing to promise sweet treats in order to cheer up my kids, but hey, a bit of cake won’t hurt them.

I flick my gaze to Ryan. He’s so grown up for an eight-year-old. A part of me worries he’s had to grow up too quickly because of the shit he’s had to go through recently.

“Where’s Mom?” I ask.

“She’s downstairs. She said she has some work to do onher laptop,” he answers. “I said to Izzy that we can do some coloring until Mom can take us to the park.”

My head snaps to the side as music starts playing behind me. Peyton is waving his hand at me, motioning for me to follow. Shit, the ceremony is starting now.

I quickly return my attention back to my phone.

“That sounds like a good idea. You’re a good brother, Ryan, and peanut, I’ll be home tomorrow afternoon, okay? I’ve gotta go now because the wedding’s going to start shortly, but I’ll call you in the morning before my flight. Make sure you’re good for your mom, and have fun at the park.”

Ryan nods. “Okay, Dad. We will.”

“I love you both,” I say.

“I love yoooou, Daddyyy!” Isabela sings, and then Ryan ends the call with a quick “Love you, Dad. Bye!”

The call cuts off, and I drop my phone to my side, staring aimlessly out into the distance for a second.

It’s hard being a single dad. I’m constantly worried about whether I’m doing the right thing or royally fucking things up. There’s this huge part of me that believes I’m a bad father, especially now I’m leaving them for two nights to attend this wedding when I already spend so many nights away from them during the season. It follows me like a dark cloud, despite knowing they are perfectly fine with my parents or my ex-wife, Laura. She’s a great mom, and they need this alone time with her. But it doesn’t stop the ache deep in my chest that I’m failing them.

My kids and my career are the two most important things in my life. I’m one of the few single guys on the twenty-three-man roster for the Thunder, but I refuse toeven contemplate dating again. Not until the kids are older, at least. Maybe I’ll consider it when they go to college or something. I simply don’t have time to fit another factor in my life when I’m already struggling to keep on top of everything.

“Yo! Wildsy!” Peyton calls out. “We’ve gotta go sit down.”

I nod, holding up a finger to let him know I’ll be right there, then bring up the text thread with my ex-wife. I fire off a quick message, hoping she won’t take this the wrong way.

Hey. Letting you know I’ve just had a call from Ryan. Isabela was upset about me being away. I know you’ve got some work to do, but could you take them to the park earlier than planned? Try to take her mind off me not being there?

Luckily, I don’t have to wait long for the reply.

Laura

I’ll finish this up and take them, but you know what she’s like.

I bristle slightly. I can hear the unspoken accusation in her words.

Why are you surprised?You caused this.

It’s not something I can deny because, yeah, I did cause this in a way. The move from Buffalo to Chicago was my doing, but it was necessary. Laura’s and my relationship ended three years ago, shortly after Isabela’s first birthday. We tried to make it work, but to put it bluntly, we fell out of love. We tried to put on a show that everything was fine forthe sake of the kids, but when she got her dream job at a broadcasting network in Manhattan, we decided it was best to file for divorce to allow her to go into this new venture of her life without any legal tie to me. The new role would also involve her traveling a lot more, and I hated the thought of leaving the kids with nannies when they could have been with family while I was on the road.

So, I suggested putting in a trade request to move to Chicago and take sole custody of the kids. My parents live in the suburbs, and that way, the kids could stay with my parents while I’m on the road to provide some stability. Luckily, Laura agreed, and she visits whenever she can. But now, I can sense this underlying blame that I’m the reason Isabela struggles with separation anxiety and why it’s always me she wants whenever she’s with Laura. She doesn’t seem to understand that I’m trying my best, and as long as the kids are happy, healthy and safe, surely that should be enough.

Sighing, I slip my phone back into my pants pocket and scrub my hands over my face.

“Dude, everything alright, eh?” Peyton appears at my side and claps my shoulder. “We’ve gotta take our seats ’cause it’s about to start.”

“Yeah, all good,” I say because technically, itis.

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