Page 57 of Defensive Zone

“That he’s been in love with you all this time?” He lifts a brow and smirks.

“Yeah…”

He nods. “Yeah, I did. I’ve always had an inkling because of your level of codependency. You’ve been so close for a long time, and I often wondered if there was more to it, but I knew for sure when he came over as soon as he got back from Denver and told us.”

“Us?”

“Jacob and me,” Ethan confirms.

“Oh.” I nod, letting out a shaky breath. Well, that explains Jacob’s excitement when he found out the other day.

Glancing over at the couch where everyone’s sitting, I watch as Zach tilts his head back and laughs at something Peyton’s said, and something warms my chest at seeing him happy.

“It broke me when he left. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame him for leaving, especially now that I know the reason why, but it was the first time I experienced heartbreak in a sense.” I rub the back of my neck. “When I spoke with my ex-girlfriend the other week, she pointed out that I was more upset over him leaving than when she broke up with me.”

Ethan laughs softly under his breath, and it’s almost strange to see. Ethan’s always been this impenetrable force. Always so serious and guarded, but since he met Jacob, it’s like those sharp edges have softened, and the walls he kept so high have slowly lowered and allowed people in.

“I think the time apart was good for you. Hell, look at where you are now. It might hurt to think about those pockets of your past, but it also got you here. You’re together. Sometimes it takes seeing someone you love walk away from you to realize what’s important.”

“I think it was when the doctor told me I was listed as his emergency contact. It was like something clicked in my brain. He’s always been my person. The one I feel most connected to, who I feel at home with, and I realized what I’ve been looking for has been right in front of me all this time. It scared me that it could have been taken away from me before I had the chance to do something about it. And now I’m so scared about fucking this up because I’m desperate to show him that my feelings are real. That this isn’t some flippant choice I’ve made because I found out his secret.”

Ethan sighs and gives a reassuring smile. “If you’re genuine, I don’t believe he’ll see it like that. I mean, I get why you’d think he would question your motives, but I also think you need to be mindful that these feelings aren’t new to him. They’re decades old, and he’s been so worried about losing you that he’s bound to be a little hesitant. He’s just as scared as you are, but you’ve just got to be patient and continue to show him he doesn’t need to be. Like that speech you made earlier.” He points with his beer bottle to the middle of the living room. “That was genuine. I could tell it was from the heart, and that’s what’s important. I nearly lost Jacob because I didn’t speak from my heart when it counted, so don’t make the same mistake I did.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate—” The sound of the buzzer makes me jump, and Ethan chuckles under his breath.

“Pizza’s here!” Elliot shouts as he leaps off the couch to get the door, causing Ernie to scramble behind him.

“Anytime.” He nudges me with his elbow, grabbing my attention as everyone begins to filter into the kitchen. “You know where to find me if you need anything, and Jacob’s around when I’m on the road. He adores Zach, so I know he’ll jump at the chance to help where he can.”

Zach sidles up next to me before I have the chance to reply. He wraps an arm around my waist as he presses a kiss to my neck.

“Thank you,” I mouth over his shoulder, and Ethan winks before turning to take his pizza.

“You good?” Zach asks, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and handing me a beer.

“Yeah, just been catching up with your captain.”

His blue eyes sparkle as he smiles brightly. The happiness he’s feeling being here with his teammates, with me, is visceral. It wraps around my heart, flooding my body with warmth.

There might still be some anxiety about the what-ifs when he eventually returns to the ice, but after speaking with Ethan and seeing the look of adoration shining in Zach’s eyes, I know we’re going to be okay.

Chapter Nineteen

Zach

It’s official, I’m back. I’ve finally been given the OK to return to the ice by both my doctor and the team’s physician, and tonight’s game in Pittsburgh will mark my return.

I’ve been itching to get back. It felt a lot longer than seven weeks, but the second I was given the thumbs-up to return to practice, I’ve been doing every practice session and spending some time with the defensive coach doing some one-on-one drills. I put one hundred and ten percent into my physiotherapy sessions once my cast was removed, and made sure to do everything that was advised to ensure there weren’t any holdups.

Of course, it wasn’t my wrist that held me up—it was my damn head.

My migraines haven’t gone away. They’re still frequent, and I’m not sure they will ever go away at this point, but I’ve been managing to push through most of the time. Carter has been supportive too, spending his free time researching alternativemethods to try and help ease the throbbing ache that seems to be a regular occurrence now.

But if I thought I could get away with hiding it, I would be wrong. I’ve caught Ethan watching me like a hawk, calling me out over the slightest wince during practice.

I’d like to say I’m pissed off about it, but I’m not. How can I be when I’ve got someone looking out for me? I only wish he wouldn’t look so closely because if I admitted to every headache, I’d never get back out here.

Luckily, Ethan’s on the other side of the ice while I’m going through my groin and glute stretches when Jackson drops down beside me and begins to stretch out his hamstrings.

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