Page 37 of Defensive Zone

“Wanna get out of here and do some more of that on the couch?”

Chapter Thirteen

Zach

We’re both silent as Carter shuts off the water and we step out of the shower. He wraps a towel around his waist before wrapping one around me and guiding me over to the closed toilet seat.

“Sit,” he insists, his voice barely above a whisper.

Taking a seat, I chew on my bottom lip, watching as he quietly moves around the dimly lit room. The only light is the soft glow from behind the mirror, and the thoughtfulness squeezes at my chest. I’ve been struggling with lights recently, ever since I ended up in the hospital, and now with the migraines as a result of the concussion. The fact Carter is conscious of it and making sure I’m comfortable makes me want to grab his face and kiss him again.

Because holy shit, that was one heck of a kiss.

I know my head has been all over the place recently, but I really hope I didn’t just imagine that. I’ve imagined what it would be like to kiss Carter so many times. I’ve often wondered whether his lips were as pillowy soft as they looked and whetherhe tasted like the Tropical Twist gum he’s always chewing on. But all the fantasies I had pale in comparison.

That kiss waseverythingand more.

And as much as I want to do it again right now, there’s a lot we need to talk about first. Like where the fuck this has suddenly come from.

Carter hums as he rubs a towel over my hair, then over my shoulders, arms, and chest. He tosses it into the laundry hamper before removing the cast protector and taking my hairbrush from the countertop.

“I can do that.” I reach out with my good hand, but he slaps it away and scowls playfully.

“No. Let me take care of you, damnit.”

I chuckle under my breath and run my gaze over his face. There’s a slight flush over his cheekbones from the shower, and his lips are pink and swollen. Long, dark lashes frame his eyes, and his brows furrow in concentration as he carefully works the brush through my hair. Maybe it’s crazy considering we had our tongues in each other’s mouths only a few minutes ago, but I’ve never felt closer to him than in this moment.

It takes someone special to step up and be a caretaker. Showing their love through actions instead of words. He’s done it so effortlessly.

He uses my electric razor to shave my beard, then helps me get dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie before we head into the living room. I lie down on the couch as he lights an unscented candle in the middle of the coffee table and makes quick work of closing the drapes, basking the apartment into complete darkness except for the lone flame flickering away.

Resting my casted arm on a cushion, Carter curls into my left side, his head on my shoulder. I wrap my arm around him, softly stroking my fingers over his ribs.

“This is nice,” he murmurs.

“Mm,” I hum.

Today is the first day I’ve felt relatively normal. The throb of pain in my skull has eased to a light discomfort, and I don’t feel like I’m going to throw up the second I open my eyes. Although I’ve slept for what feels like an eternity, I still find myself beginning to drift off because I’m so relaxed, but I blink my eyes open when his quietly spoken words stir me awake.

“You’ve probably got a lot of questions for me…”

“Yeah, I do.” I clear my throat and try to find the right words to explain the whirlwind that’s going on in my brain or where to even begin. “Why… When…”

He shifts to lean up on his elbow and a few dark curls fall onto his forehead as he looks down at me.

“I arrived in Chicago the same day you got hurt. I had been sensing there was this distance between us and couldn’t figure out what I’d done wrong or what had caused it. I thought I was losing you, and we ended up in a bit of an… argument, I guess?” He fiddles with the string of my hoodie, avoiding my eyes. I hate seeing his confidence slip, but it’s a conversation we need to have. When he speaks again, his voice cracks. “You yelled at me. You told me you were in love with me, and then you told me to leave because you needed time to get over me and wanted to be alone. I didn’t know what to do. It was like my world shifted on its axis.”

Fuck. I don’t remember any of this.

The doctor said I may never be able to remember anything that happened just before or after the hit, and clearly this is one of those things. I can’t believe I yelled at him. I’m usually such a calm guy. I never let anything faze me; even on the ice when other players try to rile me up, I always keep my cool.

Well, always except the time I ran away from Denver with my heart in my hands, but that doesn’t count.

“I yelled at you?” I frown. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

When his eyes lock with mine again, there’s pain in my favorite pair of brown eyes. Not the same kind of pain I caused when I told him I was coming back to Chicago early, but still, pain my actions caused when I thought I was doing what was best for both of us.

He shakes his head at my apology. “Yeah, but I deserved it. I didn’t know how I’d made you feel all this time, and I wasn’t quite sure how to handle all the emotions I was feeling. There have been a few things about myself and my feelings that haven’t really made sense to me since that night I met Raegan when we were in Hawaii. Some of those feelings didn’t add up until now.”

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