Page 12 of Defensive Zone

His face lights up at my response.

“Anyway, tell me what Pokémon you caught.”

He fills me in on the game we play together. Halfway through, he tells me about how he looked after Blaine and Alex’s dog Ernie and took him to the beach, then all the bracelets he made with our teammate, Jackson’s, daughter Isabela the other day.

His mouth slams shut mid-sentence. His head tilts to the side like a curious dog, green eyes assessing me through the camera. “You okay?”

The question startles me.Shit,did I let my mask slip? I’m usually so good at hiding my feelings. Burying them deep down.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

He furrows his brows. “You’re quieter than normal, which is ironic because you’re normally quiet, but you’re like, the quietest of quiet. Is quietest a word?”

I snort. “Yes, it’s a real word.”

“Awesome, I’m gonna use that in Scrabble.” He grins, then the frown reappears. “You know you can talk to me, right? I might reply at 3 a.m. or in my head, but I’m always here for you.”

Squeezing my eyes closed for a brief moment, I send a silent thank-you to the universe for bringing this eccentric guy into my life. He really is the greatest friend.

“I’m good, and thank you, it means a lot. Same goes to you.”

“Always! You’re my best Zach.”

“I’m your only Zach.”

“Exactly!”

I smother my laughter with my hand. Elliot distracts me a bit longer, telling me some of the things Alex has organized for the party, and when we hang up, I’m feeling lighter than I did earlier.

But the feeling doesn’t last long. The sound of laughter coming from inside catches my attention, and my stomach twists.

Reluctantly, I stand and pick up my empty cup before heading in. Raegan’s sitting on the kitchen counter, her arms wrapped around Carter’s head as he nuzzles into her neck, causing her to giggle. The throbbing ache in my chest steals my breath, and the blood pounding in my head causes my ears to ring.

“Sorry,” I mutter, quickly dashing around the island to put my mug in the sink.

Carter lifts his head and flashes me an easy smile. “Sorry, didn’t see you there.”

Clearly.

Ah, fuck. Look at me getting all snarky.

I give him a tight-lipped smile and motion to the stairs. “I’m going to take a nap.” I don’t give him time to reply, turning on my heels and practically running up the stairs.

By the time I reach the top step, the ache in my chest is palpable.

I can’t do this anymore. I can’t watch him fall in love with someone else again. Someone who isn’t me. I can’t keep doing this to myself. This endless loop of torture.

Ican’t.

It’s time for me to go.

Closing the door behind me, I take my suitcase from the closet and throw it onto the bed. I start tossing everything inside, not caring to fold anything or make sure it’s neat. My original flight back to Chicago isn’t for another six weeks, but I know I can’t be here any longer. I need to go now.

For the first time in nine years, I’m going to break the pact we made when we were lying on my bed on New Year’s Eve in our sophomore year. The pact where we promised to spend every summer together. But younger us were naïve. It wasn’t feasible long-term. The childhood dream we had of being together until we were old and gray, living in houses next to each other, was just that.

A dream.

I’m grateful I’ve had this time with him, but now it’s time to move on. For good.

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