Page 49 of Defensive Zone

And that’s the million-dollar question: do I want to go back to Denver?

The thought of being away from Zach for six months makes me antsy. Hell, I’m restless already, and it’s been less than an hour. It would be different if I were here and he was on the road, but being states apart and seeing each other maybe twice during that time? I was able to deal with it before, but now that we’ve crossed the line into relationship territory, I don’t know if I could do it, even for the final year of my contract.

I know it’s not as simple as just upping and moving to a different team. Hayden can try to work on different deals, but ultimately, the team could trade me anywhere if they do decide to trade me. I don’t have a no-trade clause in my contract or optional teams, after all.

If I end up getting traded somewhere else, would I give it up? I love my job, and I’ve been fortunate enough to get incredible contracts and sponsorship deals, meaning money isn’t a concern for me, but still. Football has been all I’ve known, and I wasn’t planning on hanging up my cleats just yet.

This is something I really need to talk about with Zach. Figure out how we’re going to navigate this new version of us. We’ve been blissfully ignorant in our bubble, where nothing else matters except us.

But as much as we can ignore it right now, reality is going to come calling at some point, and I don’t want us to go through another six months of pain like we just did.

“I… I don’t know. I know that I don’t want to resign with Denver if the offer comes up, but I also don’t want to go anywhere else except?—”

“Chicago,” he supplies.

“Yeah.”

“I get it. Let me see if I can work my magic, but for now, just enjoy your time together.”

“I will, thanks,” I say, relieved.

“Anytime. This wasn’t why I was calling, but it’s still good to know where your head is at. The reason for my call is that I’ll be in Chicago at some point in the next few weeks and wanted to ask if you and the big guy wanted to get dinner.”

“Oh, yeah, for sure. Let me know when, and we’ll figure something out.”

After we say goodbye and hang up, I make my way into the gym, feeling a little lighter than I did before.

“Can I get you anything?” I whisper, carding my fingers through Zach’s hair a couple of hours later.

He’s curled up against my side where we’re lying on the couch, one muscular leg hooked over mine. His head rests against my chest, and his casted wrist lies on my stomach.

It seems that going into the training facility has completely wiped him out. He complained about a headache forming on one side of his head the moment he got back in the car, which meant we didn’t end up making it to the bakery for donuts, much to his dismay.

“No, I’m okay,” he murmurs. “I’ll be good in twenty minutes, just need to shut my eyes.”

I laugh under my breath as he snuggles even closer. It was a good thing I showered at the gym because we weren’t in the apartment for a minute before he tackled me onto the couch and has been hanging on to me like a koala since.

Not that I’m complaining. I will happily stay like this for as long as he wants.

“I heard from Hayden today.”

He angles his head up toward me but keeps his eyes closed. “Yeah?”

“He’s coming to visit in a couple of weeks and wants to grab dinner.”

“I won’t say no to food.”

I scoff, reaching down to pinch his ass. “I know. I… I told him about us.”

Zach opens one eye and looks up at me. “You did?”

“Mhm. Is that okay?” I move my hand back into his hair. “He seemed happy for us, but also made me feel kinda shit because it’s like everyone knew but me.”

“Of course it’s okay.” Zach sighs heavily and shifts to lean up on his elbow. His eyes are weary when he opens them, but I know it’s because of his headache rather than me. “But you’ve gotta stop beating yourself up for it, Carter. You didn’t know because I didn’t want you to know.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry.” He takes my chin awkwardly in his hand. “This isn’t going to work if you keep holding on to it. We’re here now, and we’re in this together, yeah?”

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