Page 23 of Defensive Zone

Squeezing my eyes closed, I lick over my dry lips. “I’m really sorry about how your season is shaping up. You know this isn’t a reflection on you, right? It’s a fluke season. Ignore all the bullshit and see these last few weeks through. Next season it’ll be better, I’m sure of it.”

He sighs. “I know, it’s just hard when everywhere I look, I see people saying how shit I am.”

“You arenotshit.”

“I am. Argh!” he groans, then lets out a pained sigh. “Anyway, enough about me. You do know you’re not supposed to stop pucks with your body. Elliot’s the one with the pads, let him stop them with his.”

“All part of the job, dude.” I chuckle. “I will protect that net with everything I have, even if it comes with bruises.”

“You’re crazy, Reid.” He laughs. “Tell me how your Canadian road trip is going so far.”

I fill him in on our plans and how we’re feeling going up against Edmonton and Winnipeg. But nothing could prepare me for the pain that hits me in my chest when he says, “I miss you.”

Oh, fuck.

Stay strong. Don’t give in.

Scrunching up my face, I rub over the center of my chest, trying to ease the pain from my heart breaking. “I miss you too.”

It’s not a lie. I miss him like crazy. I’ve had to stop myself multiple times from texting him back straight away or not evading his calls. I’ve had to fight against everything I’ve known since I was six years old to resist the gravity that has always pulled me toward Carter.

Jackson’s right. When Carter comes to Chicago next month, I need to tell him, because I don’t know whether I can survive going on like this any longer.

“I’ll let you go. I…” He trails off, sounding so defeated. “I can’t wait for this season to be over so I can see you again. I think it’s been the longest five months of my life.”

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I say, “Carter?”

“Yeah?”

I run a hand through my hair and stare at my reflection in the window. “I know you’re feeling like shit now, but I promise it’ll work out. You’re an amazing player, and you’re an amazing person. It’ll be okay.”

“Thanks, that means a lot. Love you, man.” I can hear the smile in his voice.

“I love you, too.”

More than you’ll ever know.

Chapter Eight

January

Carter

“I’ll let you know if I need you for anything,” Hayden, my agent, says. “Enjoy your time off in Chicago. Oh, and Carter?”

“Yeah?”

“Keep your chin up, all right? I know it feels like shit right now, but this season wasn’t a reflection of your talent. I wouldn’t stress too much because even if they do let you go early—not that I think they will—there’s teams waiting to snap you up.”

Even though I’m not able to see his expression, I can tell by the sound of his voice he’s got a reassuring smile on his face.

When the NFL season ended for us, I mentioned to Hayden how I wouldn’t be surprised if Denver traded me. I have one year left on my contract and no no-trade clauses. It’s a business at the end of the day, and I didn’t perform to the standard that was expected of me. But Hayden, being the great guy he is, hasmanaged to reassure me that even if it does happen, it won’t be the end of the world.

“Thanks, I’ll do my best.”

And I mean it. Hayden Cassidy has been my agent for four years now, and I trust the man explicitly. If he tells me not to stress, then I’ll do my best not to stress. I like him because he doesn’t bullshit me, compared to my last agent, who screwed me over a few times. Being a retired athlete himself makes him more relatable.

Plus, he works with Zach and a few of the Thunder guys, which helped seal the deal for me.

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