Page 22 of Defensive Zone

How’s your leg? Can’t believe you threw yourself in front of it like that.

I know you’re probably out celebrating with the guys. You deserve it btw. That game was killer.

I just need you.

Zach, please.

I just need ten minutes.

“Is everything okay between you two?” Jackson asks quietly, jutting his chin at my phone as he leans in close.

Ethan and Jacob are the only ones who truly know about my feelings for Carter. I’m sure the others have their suspicions because it’s not like I actively try to hide it around them. We’re together so often, it would be hard to wear the shield constantly.

But also… wearetogether often. We’re like family. And last summer, when we found out how much Ethan had been hiding behind a wall for the sake of wanting to be strong for us, we all felt a little hurt that he thought he couldn’t confide in us.

Isn’t what I’m doing just as bad? I know these guys will be there for me. They will help me carry this heavy weight and stop me from falling back into age-old routines.

“Sort of,” I say truthfully. “I’ve taken a step back, so to speak. I…” I trail off, wondering how much to reveal.

Jackson was traded to the Thunder last season from Buffalo. He had recently gone through a divorce and put in a trade request to be closer to his parents, who live in a village north of downtown Chicago, so they could help out with his twoyoung kids, Ryan and Isabela. Sometimes, when guys who have families join the team, they don’t connect as much off the ice, which is understandable, but Jackson was different. He showed interest in getting to know us from day one. Invited us over for dinners and barbecues and even offered up his lake house in Michigan whenever we wanted.

He’s good people.

I scoff. “How much time do you have?”

“As much time as you need.”

I quickly glance around the table. Everyone else is engaged in conversation or preoccupied with their phones. Running a hand through my hair, I tell him everything. From when we were kids to that day in Denver when I left with a broken heart, to how I’m trying—and failing—to get over him.

“Damn, I’m sorry. That sounds really tough.”

“It is. I don’t want him to think he’s done something wrong, because he hasn’t. But we couldn’t keep going on like we were.Icouldn’t keep going on like we were, but I’m pretty sure he knows something’s up, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Jackson flashes me a sympathetic smile. “Will he be heading to Chicago when his season ends next month?”

“Yeah, more than likely.”

“I think you need to talk to him. It’ll be unfair on both of you to spend those six or so months treading on eggshells around each other. You’ve just gotta rip the Band-Aid off. Expose the wound; only then will it be able to heal.”

“I think I’m just afraid. I don’t want to lose him.”

“I don’t think you’ll lose him, but you can’t keep going this way. It’s clear that both of you are struggling with this shift in your dynamic, so being honest is the best way forward.”

Before I can respond, my phone begins to vibrate in my hand, and Carter’s name flashes on the screen.

“I better answer this.”

Jackson gives me a reassuring nod and squeezes my shoulder. “It’ll be okay, I’m sure of it.”

Pushing my chair back, I answer and head toward the door.

“Hey, everything okay?”

“Hey. Fuck, I’m really happy to hear your voice,” Carter says, his tone relieved. I hear the rustling of bedsheets, and my mind conjures up images of him lying in bed. Is he naked? He usually sleeps naked.

Stop thinking about him being naked.

His voice is quiet when he speaks again. “I wish you were here. Today fucking sucked, and all I keep thinking about is how much I want to cuddle up with you on the couch while we watch a Star Wars movie so I can forget how much I fucking suck at football.”

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