Page 21 of Defensive Zone

“Are you going to get that?” Jackson asks, motioning to my phone with his bottle of beer.

I shake my head. “I’ll call him back later.”

The table drops into silence. I ignore the shocked expressions on my teammates’ faces as I watch it ring out and then watchthe missed call notification pop up. It’s been hard to break habits of a lifetime. To keep strong and avoid falling back into that pattern. Even when he texted the other month and told me Raegan had dumped him, I had to squash down my instincts to go running back, not to give in and open myself up to fall back into the routine I’ve been putting myself through for years. But I managed to stay strong. I didn’t give in. I gave him support while also protecting myself.

I don’t know how long I can do this for, though. It’s breaking me, and it’s almost like I’m grieving for someone who is still very much present in my life.

I guess I’m grieving the fucked-up notion I’ve held on to for so long that one day he might love me back.

Unable to look at my phone anymore, I slip it into my pocket and pick up my beer.

Out of sight, out of mind, right?

Well, kinda.

It might be out of sight, but Carter is never out of my mind.

“Is there trouble in bromancadise?” Peyton asks.

I eye Peyton over the bottle. “What?”

“Bromance paradise. Bromancadise.” Peyton rolls his eyes. “Duh.”

Elliot snorts mockingly and echoes, “Duh.”

“No, there’s no trouble. I’m out with you guys, so I’ll call him back later,” I say and take a sip of my beer, hoping it’s the end of the conversation, but that hope is quickly squashed.

“Well, fuck me. Who would’ve thought we’d see the day when Blaine swapped places with Zach to be the one glued to his phone?” Peyton snickers, throwing his thumb over to where Blaine has been typing away on his phone since we left the arena.

Without lifting his head, Blaine flips him off and resumes texting. This isn’t new. Blaine popped the question to Alex a few weeks ago and has become even more smitten, if it was evenpossible. Gone are his playboy ways, and he’s so disgustingly in love with Alex, it’s almost nauseating.

But I’m happy for him.

Even if I am a little jealous.

“Don’t be jealous, Peyton. Just because you’re single as a Pringle doesn’t mean we’re all going to be lonely like you,” Blaine retorts. “You should count yourself lucky that I’m sitting here. I could be jerking off on a video call with my fiancé right now.”

Elliot slaps his hands over his ears and sings, “La la la!”

“Look what you’ve done! Now you’ve upset your brother.” Peyton playfully scowls over the table at Blaine.

Elliot slaps his hands on the table, causing his full beer to slosh over the rim of his glass. “It’s bad enough I see your balls hanging out when I walk into your apartment. I don’t wanna know when you’re jerking off.”

Blaine throws his hand up in protest. “It’smyapartment! I can walk around with my balls out whenever I want.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose, chuckling under my breath. Peyton sits back with a smirk, amusement dancing in his eyes now that he’s riled up the twins.

“You’re going to be married into this one day, you know?” Peyton wags his finger between the twins while addressing Ethan. “Absolute chaos. You’re never gonna know what the meaning of peace is ever again.”

Ethan simply watches on unfazed as he sips on his beer in silence.

“As long as I have Jacob, bring on the chaos,” he replies, lifting his shoulder in a carefree shrug.

My phone vibrates again in my pocket, and a sigh escapes me as I see Carter’s name and the numerous texts.

Carter

Can we talk? Please?

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