Page 92 of Off Season

He cups my cheek with his hand, wiping away the tears I didn’t realize had fallen.

“J, you told me in England you wanted to be someone’s favorite person. And you are.Mine. You’re my favorite hello and my favorite notification on my phone. Your eyes and your smile are my favorite. Your hug is my favorite, and yours is my favorite hand to hold. Your kiss will always be my favorite, and your love is the only thing I want. My favorite days are the days I spend with you. But you’re not my hardest goodbye because I never want to say goodbye to you.”

I rush to my feet. Grabbing his face with both hands, I pull his head down and slam our lips together. I’m aware of the hoots and cheers around us, but all I can think about is this man in front of me.

This man, who not long ago couldn’t show his feelings.

This man, who was too afraid of letting these very people in enough to knowhim.

This man, who confessed his vulnerable side to those he loved for the first time.

This man, who just told me everything I wasn't sure I’d ever hear.

“I love you,” I whisper against his lips.

“I love you, too,” he declares. “I mean every word, Jacob, and I’ll be showing you how much every day for as long as you’ll let me.”

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Jacob

5 months later - December

“Oh. My. God,” I mumble under my breath, gazing around the arena. “This place is insane!”

Alex rocks on his heels, a broad grin on his face. “I know, right? It’s amazing.”

I’m not quite sure what I was expecting, but this wasn’t it. I didn’t know it was this huge. I’ve watched Ethan’s games on TV, but you can’t fully appreciate the sheer size through a screen. It’s kinda crazy to think this is Ethan’s workplace. This is hisjob, and as I look around, watching people find their seats, a small smile crosses my face at the thought they might be here for the same reason as me.

Because it might be my first hockey game, but this game marks an incredible milestone in Ethan’s career.

This will be his 1600th game played in the NHL, including playoff games.

When I asked him how he was feeling about hitting such a monumental record, he downplayed it. He just shrugged and asked what I wanted to eat for dinner, but I wasn’t going to let him get away with it.

He doesn’t know we’ve booked dinner for tomorrow night with all his teammates and their partners, or that his mom, Jennifer, has flown out to watch it. She’s sitting up in a box with Kendrick’s wife, Maria, who is currently five months pregnant, and a few of the other players’ families. But I’ve decided to sit with Alex a few rows behind the home bench.

We take our seats, and I glance up at the rafters. There’s all the championship banners, along with retired players’ names and numbers. I can’t help but wonder if Ethan’s will be up there one day after he retires.

It will, right? Twenty seasons with the same team is rare, according to Alex, and he’s been so influential for this team. He deserves a place up there with the legends.

“How are you feeling?” Alex asks.

“Nervous,” I admit. “I’m excited to see him play but also really nervous. What if he gets hurt?”

Alex laughs softly. “I get that. I knew it was a dangerous sport before I met Blaine. When they step on that ice, they’re not thinking they might get hurt, but it is a possibility. It’s fast-paced, sometimes it can be quite brutal. But since I started dating Blaine, there’s an added sense of…fear, I guess, every time I watch a game. Because to others in this arena, he’s just a player, but to me, he is my fiancé. He’s my lover, he’s my everything, and if he got hurt, they wouldn’t feel it like I would. So I get you’re feeling nervous, but you’ve got to remember that if anything does happen, Ethan is in great hands.”

I rub my hand over my face. I know he’s right, but it doesn’t stop the wave of nerves pooling at the bottom of my stomach.

Since the season started, it’s been a learning curve for me. I was aware of the hectic schedule because of Blaine, but living it with Ethan is different. There’s days where we hardly see each other. Sometimes I leave for work before he wakes up for practice, or he’s left for an away game before I get home. I was a little worried that when the season started, things would change, but they didn’t. If anything, they got better. Our relationship became stronger. The time we spend apart has allowed our hearts to grow fonder.

Whenever he’s on the road, we FaceTime every night, and he makes sure to set his alarm to wake up to talk to me on the phone while I’m preparing the day’s bakes, then sends heartfelt texts throughout the day. Then, on the nights when he returns home late, he whispers, “I love you,” before wrapping me up in his arms.

Any worries that I had about him succumbing to the negative thoughts in his brain disappeared, because I know without a doubt he loves me with every fiber in his body.

He moved into my house a week after the twins’ birthday and sold his downtown apartment. We redecorated and made it ours, but Ethan made sure to showcase certain memories so they wouldn’t be forgotten. I had mentioned my grandma’s garden in passing and how all her flowers died because I didn’t know how to take care of them, and then one day I came home to him deep in concentration onhis iPad, his notebook beside him. He was researching what soil to buy to grow peonies, roses, and hydrangeas, as well as movable planters so we could bring them inside when winter hit.

I cried happy tears; I couldn’t believe he remembered, but I was so touched that he did.

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