Page 69 of Off Season

But I know I’ll regret it if I don’t try.

Picking up the last suitcase from the conveyor belt, Jacob is practically bouncing on his toes.

“I’m so excited to see Alex again.” Jacob beams, there’s a bright smile on his face. “I feel like I haven’t seen him in forever.”

I force a smile.

It’s not because I’m not happy that he gets to see his brother again; I am, but I’m fucking nervous. Anxiety is eating away at me as we get closer to the doors, knowing that Alex is on the other side waiting to pick up Jacob, and I still haven’t spoken to him about how I feel.

Yep, I spent the nine-hour flight from London to Chicago trying to think of the right words to say. The right way to express how I feel about him. That this trip was the most incredible time of my life, and it was all because of him.

Feelings don’t come easily for me. I’m fine when it comes to my captain duties because it’s not aboutmeper se. It’s about the team. A united front. The focus isn’t on me and my fucked-up emotions when we’re talking hockey. I can easily talk strategy or about ways to improve our gameplay.

To make it worse, it’s this place. This airport. Where I ended up with my heart in pieces last time. It’s causing my brain is going into overdrive.

I can’t focus. My stomach is in knots. My palms are sweating on the handle of my suitcase as I drag it along beside me.

It’s now or never. I need to do it now, or I’m going to miss my shot.

“Jacob—”

“Ethan—” he says at the same time.

We both laugh.

I hold my hand out. “You go first.”

He stops on the other side of the arrival doors, moving us out of the way of the other passengers. Those gorgeous blue eyes gazing up at me with such warmth and admiration.

“I just wanted to say thank you. For everything. For helping me in a time of need, for inviting me on this trip of a lifetime. It’s been truly magical.” He leans up and presses a kiss to my cheek. “Thank you for being such an incredible friend. I can’t thank you enough.”

Friend?

My heart plummets. Did I completely misread the signs? I know I said at the beginning that I couldn’t offer him anything more than just the time we had in England, but I felt the change. That simmering chemistry between us turned into something more.

I couldn’t have imagined that. Surely not? It was too powerful, too visceral for it not to be real.

Suddenly, I can’t breathe. My chest feels painfully tight, like an invisible weight is pressing down against my lungs. I open my mouth to speak, desperate to find the words I’ve been wanting to say, but they get lost on my tongue.

My mom’s words come rushing back to me,use your words, sweetie.

“J—” I croak.

“I’ll cherish the time we spent together more than you’ll ever know.” He smiles, his voice dripping with sincerity.

I fucking need to say something, but my throat closes up.The sound of the noisy arrivals terminal becomes distant, and I’m just left with the frantic pounding of my heart.

“Jake!”

Jacob turns at the sound of Alex’s voice and takes off in a jog, dragging his suitcase behind him. There’s nothing I can do except stand and watch as they embrace, Jacob’s face lighting up with happiness and relief in his brother’s arms.

“Hey, Ethan. Thank you for taking care of him,” Alex greets me, wrapping his arm around Jacob’s shoulder and squeezes.

I grunt, jutting my chin in acknowledgement. Both brothers are staring at me as I just stand there. Jacob eyes me, his brows slightly furrowed in confusion, but then Alex says something that snaps him out of it, and he takes hold of his suitcase.

He looks back at me one more time as they wave goodbye and leave.

The anxiety rushing through my veins is replaced by a wave of numbness. The proverbial walls that Jacob helped knock down slam back up, surrounding me. The back of my eyes burn at the sight of Jacob leaving.

---