Page 61 of Off Season

A wide smile breaks out on my face. I can imagine Jennifer doing just that. She’s such a wonderful mom. You can really tell that she would do anything for Ethan with how she loves him so unconditionally.

My mom would’ve gotten along so well with her. My grandma, too.

Getting to spend time with her has been really nice, but it has also made me realize how much I miss my mom and my grandma. I can’t stop myself from imagining what it would be like if they were still alive, and this arrangement wasn’t temporary. Would we have big family summer vacations here in England? Barbecues in the backyard. Laughter and wine late into the night.

My heart aches at all the things I’ll never get to experience.

“But she understood why, and I told her I wanted her name on my back when I lifted the Stanley Cup, not my jackass father’s, because she would be the reason I was there, not him. So, the morning of my birthday, we went down to City Hall, and I became Ethan Parkes.”

“Has he tried to get in touch since you made the NHL?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “I’m not on social media, and I made sure to change my number when I was drafted. The only way he could reach me would be through the team or my agent, and they know I never want to talk to him again.”

“I’m glad they support you like that. I would hate for him to come into your life and mess with your head.”

Ethan grunts and sits up. He runs a hand through his hair before taking a sip of his beer. His mouth twists slightly as he tucks his chin.

“As I got older, I knew I made the right choice because I didn’t want my kids to have his name either.”

My eyebrows raise in surprise. I wasn’t expecting that. “You want children?”

“I don’t know. Maybe?” He shrugs, lifting his head to look at me. “I don’t know if I’d make a good dad. I didn’t exactly have a great role model growing up, but I knew that if I did end up having kids at some point, I didn’t want them to have any connection to him.”

Oh, you sweet man. What are you doing to me?

“In a way, I think your childhood will make you an incredible dad because you know firsthand what not to do. You know the father you wanted to have, and you know all your mom did for you, so you’ll do right by your child. You’re not your father, Ethan.”

He grunts, shaking his head as he stands up, effectively ending the conversation.

I can see the barriers slowly coming back up the closer we get to leaving. But I don’t regret pushing. I want him to know I see him.

“I wish I could show you that you don’t have to shut me out,” I whisper to his back as he disappears inside.

Chapter Twenty

Jacob

“I can’t believe we leave in two days,” I sigh, balancing my phone on the bathroom counter while I apply some body lotion.

I had just come out of the shower when Alex called to keep him company while he worked on today’s baking—thankfully forgoing FaceTime this time.

“It’s gone by really quick, but it also feels like forever, if that makes sense.”

I laugh. “Weirdly, it does make sense.”

“Can I pick you up from the airport?” he asks. “Daniel and Aria will mind the shop. I just…” He trails off, and I can hear the uncertainty in his voice. “I’ve just really missed you, and I kinda don’t want to wait until Ethan drops you off to see you.”

I close my eyes and swallow down my emotions. No matter how much I want to delay the inevitable, we’rerunning out of time, and the thought of ending this, whateverthisis, makes my chest ache.

While we’ve been here, I’ve seen Ethan’s guard start to drop. He’s allowed his vulnerability to show through, and it’s made him even more beautiful to me.

But his guard is slowly going back up, and when we go back…I’m not sure how things will be.

I quietly clear my throat, hoping it helps me sound chipper when I speak. “Of course you can pick me up.” I hang up my wet towel on the towel rail, then walk out into Ethan’s bedroom, taking a seat on the armchair that he sat on the night of the wedding. I curl my legs up under me, resting my phone on the arm, and gaze out of the window. “How is everything back home?”

“It’s going good,” Alex replies. “Busy as ever. Blaine and Elliot have been helping out a lot. Well, Elliot’s probably caused more chaos than anything else.”

I snort. “Oh God, what’s he been doing?”

---