Page 59 of Off Season

“Twelve.”

I nuzzle my face in the crook of his neck, nibbling and sucking on the delicate skin at the base of his throat. His hand grips my shoulder for support, squeezing the muscle tight as he moans.

“Go get them, then go upstairs and get naked on my bed. I want to eat my cake and devour you as my gift.” I lick his throat to his ear, tugging his lobe between my teeth. “Do you think you can do that for me?”

He nods shakily.

“Good boy,” I growl. “I can’t fucking wait to taste you.”

Chapter Nineteen

Jacob

Gazing up at the clear night sky, I bite back a smile at how freaking lucky I am right now. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so content in my life.

I know it’s all a pipe dream, relaxing with Ethan, stealing kisses and gentle touches, because in a few days it’s going to be just a fond memory I’ll get to visit when times get hard.

But the last few days have been incredible.

I had dreamed of visiting London. It has this romantic element to it with its history and the beautiful architecture, along with the cute parks and iconic landmarks such as Buckingham Palace. Plus, throw in the classic romance movies that were filmed there, and my little hopelessly romantic heart has been singing.

Exploring the capital with Ethan has only solidifiedthose thoughts, but it has come with a pang of regret—but not about coming here with him.

I will never regret that. I will cherish this trip for the rest of my life, but I regret allowing my heart to do exactly what I told it not to.

I’m falling for him.

That inconvenient crush I had on him has grown exponentially since we arrived, and I know that when we get back to Chicago and this comes to an end, I’m going to be crushed.

Ethan draws lazy circles on my arm with the tips of his fingers as I lay my head on his chest. He’s just cooked us another incredible meal, and now we’re relaxing on a blanket in the backyard, watching as the summer night sky turns to dusk.

Ethan’s chest rumbles beneath my ear as he asks, “Will you tell me something nobody knows about you?”

I shift, leaning on my elbow, and grin down at him. “Are we exchanging secrets now?”

He nods, stretching his arms back so he can rest his head on his hands behind him. His biceps bulge, stretching the sleeves of his black t-shirt, and he looks at me when he probes, “What’s your biggest fear in life?”

Well, shit.

I don’t keep secrets from Alex, aside from the grief we’ve now discussed. We’ve always tried to be as open and honest as possible, but there is one thing that he doesn’t know.

One thing that has been a deep-rooted fear of mine since I was a kid.

“I’m terrified of dying alone.” My chest aches at the admission.

Unable to speak my truth while maintaining eye contact, I roll onto my back and stare up at the purple and pink hues of the sky.

“Even though I was young when they died, one of the things I always remember is how in love my parents were. My grandparents, too. I’ve been so blessed to be surrounded by so much love because I know not everyone gets that, so my biggest fear is never experiencing that for myself. Never being someone’s favorite person. Never knowing I’m making their day better just by being there or by hearing my voice on the phone. Never knowing the best part of their day is when they are with me.” I swallow down the lump in my throat as my eyes sting with unshed tears.

I sometimes wonder if the fear is a result of losing my parents. I try to find solace in the fact that they were together until the end, and watching my grandpa lose the will to live, literally, when my grandma passed… It wouldn’t have been like that if he didn’t love her with every ounce of his being. If he was able to carry on without her.

I know I’m only twenty-eight. IknowI have time to findthe one, but the more time I spend with Ethan, the more my heart calls forhim, and the more it aches because my brain keeps reminding me that this is only temporary.

He hasn’t given me any indication that this could be anything more, and I’m almost too afraid to bring it up.

Too afraid of the inevitable rejection.

“Jacob.” Ethan’s serious tone causes me to look over at him. “You really don’t know how incredible you are, do you?”

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