Page 16 of Off Season

My stomach twists and tightens, and there’s acid burning up my esophagus as I pace the living room. I’ve just buzzed Jacob up, and every inch of me is on edge. I’m due to leave for England in four days, and even though I would never admit this out loud, I’m hoping with every fiber of my being that he will be coming with me.

And it’s not because I went ahead and purchased two plane tickets, including one that may or may not be in his name.

Call it wishful thinking.

I never knew how much I wanted to just be with him until Blaine planted that stupid idea in my head.

It’s not stupid; it’s brilliant.

Whatever.

When there’s a knock at the door, I rush across the hardwood and then come to a stop. Hand frozen mid-air.

Fuck. I need to get out of my head.

I don’t want him to feel pressured. I don’t want him to think he needs to come with me due to some weird sense of obligation, but in the state I’m in right now, he’ll feel the desperation pouring off me in waves.

Shaking my hands out by my sides, I take a deep breath through my nose before opening the door, putting on what I hope is a welcoming smile.

“Hey, Jacob. Come in.” I step aside to let him through.

“Hi.” He smiles.

When he steps by, I notice he’s holding a glass baking dish covered in aluminum foil. I close the door behind me and motion him to the kitchen, where he places it down on the counter.

“I made you a baked ziti,” he says, his words coming out in a rush as his fingers fuss with the edge of the foil. “I didn’t know if you’d eaten, and…well, I bake when I get nervous, but I ran out of baking supplies at home, which is ironic considering I bake for a living, so the next best thing was pasta, so I made—” He stops abruptly and rolls those gorgeous eyes. “I’m nervous rambling, sorry.”

My lips twitch. “Thank you. I haven’t eaten yet, so it’s appreciated.”

Jacob gives a small nod, looking everywhere except at me.

“Can I get you a drink? Water? Coffee? Wine?”

“Oh, I’d love a glass of wine, please.”

I pour him one and lead him into the living room, taking a seat next to him on the couch. He’s sitting on the edge, his back stiff as a rod. The wine glass is clasped between both hands like he’s worried I’ll take it from him.

“You can make yourself comfortable. You don’t have to sit like you’re in a library.”

He hesitates for a beat, then toes off his shoes and curls his feet beneath his ass.

A rush of warmth fills my chest at how comfortable he looks in my space. It’s not the first time he’s been in my apartment, but this is the first time he’s been here whereI’vebeen nervous, too.

Jacob takes a sip of his wine before resting the glass on his knee. There’s this contented-but-awkward silence between us, and I can practically hear the wheels turning in his head about how to address the elephant in the room.

I’m about to open my mouth to speak, but he beats me to it.

“So, I’ve been thinking about your proposition, and I’ve decided I’ll come to England with you, but there are some things I’d like to talk about first.”

My heart flips in my chest. I want to wrap him in my arms and thank him for doing this for me, but I try to play it cool instead. The last thing I want to do is spook him, so I simply nod and let him continue. “Fire away.”

“Firstly, nothing changes with our agreement. My business is my priority, and I can’t let Alex down again.”

I want to argue that he didn’t let Alex down, but that’s a conversation for another time.

“Of course. Everything will remain the same. You have my word.”

He gives a small smile. His hunched shoulders drop slightly.

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