Page 75 of Off Season

I thought I was only protecting myself, but I was hurting other people in the process.

They’re my teammates. My brothers.

The guys who would ask how high if I told them to jump.

Then I hurt Jacob.

The guy who understood me so seamlessly. Who opened his heart to me in such a beautiful and tragic way. Who made me look at life differently.

“Since when are you this keen on dishing out advice?” I grumble.

“Couples’ therapy.” Peyton shrugs. “I can’t say it’s going to save my marriage, but it’s given me a different perspective on things.”

That causes me to look over at him with a frown. “You don’t think it’s helping?”

“No, it is helping, but not us as a couple. I fucked up—a lot—then got mad because she slept with someone else. I didn’t stop to think about the times I hooked up with other people on the road while still wearing a wedding band on my finger, and it wasn’t because I didn’t love her. It was just because I could. If anything, these sessions are showing me she’s better off without me. She deserves a lot more than what I can give her, and I think she’s realizing that too.”

“You want a divorce?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. I want her to be happy, and I don’t think she will be while we’re together, but I want it to be her decision. And I know I have a lot of growing up to do.”

While I’ve thought that for quite some time, it was something Peyton needed to realize on his own. There’s only somuch guidance I can give these guys before they have to deal with it themselves.

“Food’s ready!” Kendrick shouts, waving a hot dog sausage in the air with the tongs. The sausage breaks in half and flies onto the floor. Daisy scrambles off the sun lounger to grab it as Kendrick grimaces. “Shit! Sorry, Pey!”

Peyton rolls his eyes and laughs, waving him off before looking back at me. “We worry about you, man... I’ve always wondered whether you were lonely up in your ivory tower, so talk to him, ‘kay?”

“Yeah, I will,” I reply as we stand.

Kendrick piles a mountain of food on our plates, and we head over to the table to eat.

Elliot comes outside with Isabela close behind, wearing beaded bracelets up to her elbows. She goes around the table, handing over bracelets to each of the guys. They thank her and slip the bracelet on their wrists, but when she gets to me, she crooks her finger to come closer.

Leaning down until I’m at eye level, she cups her small hand around my ear and whispers, “Yours is my favorite.”

There’s a tug at my heart at the joy in her sparkling brown eyes, and when I accept the bracelet, I have to swallow down my emotion. The beads are red and black, like our jerseys, and it has 11—my number—a heart, and my last name. I put it on next to my watch while she watches me.

“It looks awesome, Isabela. I’m never going to take it off.”

She preens, the apples of her cheeks turning pink.

“Isabela, come get some food,” Jackson calls.

She quickly runs off to her dad before taking her miniplate to where there’s a blanket laid out on the grass, where she sits next to her brother and Daisy the dog.

“So, how was England?” Kendrick asks.

“Good.” I nod. “I think Jacob enjoyed himself.”

Blaine eyes me warily. “Did he? He’s been kinda quiet since he got back. He said he had a great time, but he doesn’t seem like himself.”

Fuck. I never wanted that to happen. It pains me to know he’s hurting, and it’s all because of me.

“I think he did…” I trail off. “Look, there’s something I need to tell you.”

I need to do this. I need to open up, let them in.

I watch as they gather around me without even thinking about it, and, taking a deep, steady breath, I tell them everything.

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