No.
What I need is for this man to love me until my very last breath.
To love me despite my flaws. To love mebecauseof them.
To stand by my side as I face a new chapter in my life.
To wake up every morning and see his gorgeous face next to me.
Only then, will I truly be a champion.
I just hope I can find the words to tell him that I’m falling in love with him.
Glancing over to the nightstand, the clock reads nine a.m. We only have a few hours until we need to leave for the airport, and I’m not ready. My mom is coming over soon to say her goodbyes, at least until she flies to Chicago for the holiday season.
Slowly slipping out from beneath Jacob, I move my pillow and gently lay his head on it. He curls his arm around the pillow before his soft snores continue. I stand there for a beat, just watching him sleep so peacefully. His blond hair sticking up in all directions, his lips parted.
He’s extraordinary.
Managing to pull myself away, I quickly shower, get dressed, and throw everything into my suitcase. Luckily, I tend to pack light as I keep clothes here, so it doesn’t take me long to get everything packed. Once I’m done, I head downstairs and make a start on breakfast just in time for Mom to walk through the door.
“Good morning, sweetie,” she greets me.
Placing the pancake batter next to the stove, I open my arms, wrapping them around her. “Hey, Mom.”
“I can’t believe you’re going back already.” She frowns before turning to get a cup out of the cupboard and making herself a coffee. “I wish you could stay longer.”
“Me too, but we’ve got to get back for Jacob. Maybe you could come out before the season starts? You know I’ll pay for your flights whenever you want to come.”
She gives me a warm smile. “Thank you, darling. I’ll see if I can work something out.” Taking a sip of her coffee, she eyes me over the rim of the cup. The steam does nothing to disguise her pointed stare. “Are you going to tell him how you feel?”
“What do you mean?” I grumble, pouring some of the pancake batter into the pan.
“Ethan, don’t play dumb. It doesn’t suit you,” she chuckles, rolling her eyes. “I meant, are you going to tell Jacob how you feel about him? I really like him. He’s a good one, and I can tell you really care for him.”
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “Yes, but I don’t know when. I figured maybe on the plane?”
She shakes her head. “No, you’ve got to do something romantic. Tell him when you land back at O’Hare; let him know that you want to see how things go now that you’re back.”
I chew on my bottom lip.
“Ethan, you need to be the one to do this. I know what you’re like. You’re guarded like a vault, and Jacob doesn’t know what’s going on in your head. Or maybe he does, buthe still needs to hear it from you.” She takes another sip of her coffee. “You’re going to have to fight every instinct that’s been ingrained in you for so long and use your words, sweetie. He’s not Ian or your father. He’s a good man with a good heart. You’re both very well suited for one another, but you need to be the one to take this step. You need to give yourself a chance.”
I run a hand down my face and sigh.
I know she’s right. I’ve allowed fear to consume me for more than a decade. I’ve allowed others to take away my chances for too long.
“Good morning, sweetie.” Mom greets when Jacob appears, looking rumpled from sleep.
He walks over to her and wraps his arms around her in a tight hug. “I thought I wouldn’t get the chance to say goodbye.”
“Never. I would’ve run down the street waving if I had missed you,” she says with a laugh. “Plus, I need to get that recipe from you! Don’t forget.”
Jacob’s laugh hits me square in the chest. “I’ll email it to you the second I get back to the bakery.”
My mom gives him another hug and looks over his shoulder, then mouths, “Tell him.”
As hard as it’s going to be, I know I need to be the one to bring up the topic of where we go from here when we get back to Chicago. Jacob might change his mind once the season starts, and he realizes how hectic my schedule is or how regimented my day-to-day life is.