Page 36 of Off Season

A choked laugh escapes me. “You think?” I spit.

He finally has the decency to look ashamed. “I’m sorry about the way I handled things. I should have talked to you, told you how I was feeling.” He glances around, avoiding eye contact. “You were never home, and I didn’t want to live in a country where I didn’t know anyone. I was so fucking lonely! I wanted to be your priority above everything and everyone else, and I knew you wouldn’t be able to give me that. I couldn’t compete with hockey, and I knew hockey was your first love, so I…” He casts his gaze over to David, and everything begins to fall into place.

“And he was able to make you his priority.” The words are faint even to my own ears.

My heart pounds in my chest, hands balling into fists by my sides. I should be happy I finally have closure, but I’m fucking furious.

“No, it wasn’t like that. We met after I moved back to England, but it just solidified the fact that you and I were never going to work.”

“You should have told me instead of making me believe you were in love with me.”

“I know, I know!” He holds his hands out. “I’m sorry, alright?”

Sweat beads down the back of my neck; my muscles are rigid. “No, it’s not alright. You knew what you were getting into when we met. Hockey wasn’t a new thing. Fuck, I thought you were fucking supportive of me.”

“I was!” he raises his voice, his arms out at his sides. “But Christ, Ethan. Do you know how fucking hard it was to date someone like you? I get you have to be selfish in your profession, buteverythingwas about you. We had to plan our vacations around your schedule. We had to plan meals around your diet. Nobody wanted to be friends with me because all they cared about was you. You were so hard to love, and I didn’t want my life to be all about you.”

You were so hard to love.

The chatter in the room becomes distant. Like I’ve been plunged underwater. The pressure of being submerged steals my breath, pushing against my lungs like my chest is caving in.

All of my fears are being vocalized.

I was too hard to love, so he left.

Just like my dad.

“Is everything okay?” Jacob’s voice pulls me out of it.

Accepting the glass of Macallan from him, I drink it in one swift gulp, grimacing from the burn but welcoming it asit travels down my throat. “Everything’s fine. Ian was just leaving.”

“Ethan—” Ian pleads.

“Don’t,” I snap, dismissing him. “Just go. You’ve said your piece—now go.”

Jacob steps in closer, placing a protective hand on my stomach as he addresses Ian in a tone I’ve never heard from Jacob before. “I think it’s best if you leave, before I make sure you do.”

Ian looks from Jacob to me, frowning. He opens his mouth to say something, but he must think better of it as he flattens his lips and gives a curt nod before walking off.

Jacob immediately steps in front of me. His eyes search mine, concern creasing his brow. “Are you okay?”

I give a small nod, taking a deep breath to try and steady my raging heartbeat. He hands me his glass of wine, and I down it in one, placing the glass on a nearby table. His hands move up my arms, soothing me, before resting on my pecs.

This time, the roles are reversed.

He is my anchor. My calming force in a raging storm.

And despite how pissed off I am, I’m glad I’m finally able to close the door on that part of my past. I’m no longer left wondering what happened or how it ended up going wrong. It sucks that it’s taken so fucking long to get here, but I guess it’s better late than never.

Because now I can focus on this incredible man in front of me, looking up at me with bright, kind eyes. His palms run over the material covering my chest, his teeth bury into the pillowy flesh on his bottom lip with worry as he waits for my answer.

“I think I finally am.”

Resting my hands on Jacob’s hips, I lean down and press a gentle kiss to the top of his head.

“Thank you,” I begin, closing my eyes for a moment before opening them again.

“For what?”

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