Page 69 of Lavender and Honey

I focus on his feet at first, staring down to make sure I don't misstep, but after a few moments, his fingers press gently under my chin, lifting my gaze to his. "Eyes up here, Lavender girl. Trust your feet."

"Hard to trust what I can't control," I mutter, but I hold his gaze as requested, finding it surprisingly easy to fall into the rhythm when I'm looking at him instead of our feet.

"Control is overrated," Soren says, a hint of something deeper threading through his playful tone. "Sometimes you've got to let go to really feel alive… Besides, you have done great so far. No need to get cold feet now."

His words hit closer to home than he could possibly know. How much of my life have I spent in careful control—of my scent, my emotions, my interactions with others? The thought is both terrifying and exhilarating, like standing at the edge of a cliff and feeling the wind tug at your clothes, beckoning you forward.

As the song continues, I gradually relax into Soren's lead. The steps come more naturally now, my body remembering the rhythm even when my mind wanders. We float around the floor, and I notice how different this feels from the formal dancing ofmy youth. There's a freedom in it, a joy that was missing from those stiff, performative movements.

Soren seems to sense the shift in me. His smile widens, and he increases our pace slightly, testing my newfound confidence. When I match him step for step, his eyes light up with genuine pleasure. "See? I knew you had it in you."

The song transitions to another, this one with a faster beat. Without breaking stride, Soren adjusts our movements to match. "Ready to try something a little more adventurous?" he asks, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

Before I can answer, he's guiding me into a spin, our joined hands lifting as I twirl once, twice, before returning to his embrace. The movement is fluid, natural, and I laugh in surprise at how effortlessly it happens.

"Did I just do that?" I ask, breathless with delight.

"We did," Soren corrects, his arm tightening slightly around my waist. "Dancing is a partnership. That's what makes it special."

A partnership. The word settles into my chest, warm and weighty. How long has it been since I've allowed myself to be part of anything resembling a partnership? To trust someone else enough to follow their lead, knowing they'll support me if I falter?

The realization makes me miss a step, and I stumble slightly against Soren's chest. His arm immediately steadies me, solid and secure. "I've got you," he says, the words simple but laden with meaning that makes my heart race.

"Sorry," I murmur, embarrassed by my clumsiness.

"Don't be." His voice is soft, intimate despite the noise surrounding us. "I like having you close."

Our eyes lock, and suddenly the crowded dance floor seems to recede, leaving just the two of us in a bubble of shared breath and synchronized movement. I'm acutely aware of everypoint of contact between us—his hand at my waist, our palms pressed together, the occasional brush of his thigh against mine as we turn. The blockers I applied should mute my scent, but I wonder if he can detect the subtle hints of lavender that might be breaking through due to my elevated heartbeat and the heat of exertion.

The thought should alarm me—I've spent so long hiding that part of myself—but in this moment, with Soren looking at me like I'm the only person in the room, I find I don't mind the idea of him catching my scent.

"You're thinking too hard again," Soren murmurs, bringing me back to the present. "I can practically hear the gears turning in that beautiful head of yours."

I blush at the casual compliment. "Sorry, old habit."

"Don't apologize for who you are," he says, his tone suddenly serious despite the playful glint in his eyes. "Just... try to be here, with me. In this moment."

His words strike a chord so deep within me that it almost hurts. How much of my life have I spent elsewhere—mentally reviewing the past or anxiously anticipating the future? How rarely have I simply existed in the present?

"I am here," I say softly, and I mean it. The music flows around us, through us, and I surrender to the rhythm, to the gentle pressure of Soren's hand guiding me, to the simple joy of moving in harmony with another person.The song shifts again, this time to something slower, more intimate. Couples around us draw closer, and I tense slightly, uncertain. Soren's hand at my waist doesn't move, neither pulling me closer nor creating distance.

"We can sit this one out if you want," he offers, reading my hesitation with uncanny accuracy.

Something inside me rebels at the suggestion. I don't want to retreat, not now, not when I'm finally starting to feel like I'm breaking free of the constraints I've placed on myself for so long.

"No," I say, more firmly than I intend. "I'd like to dance. With you." The smile that spreads across Soren's face is worth any momentary discomfort. Slowly, giving me time to adjust, he draws me closer. His arm wraps more fully around my waist, while his other hand still holds mine, now pressed between our bodies. My free hand settles tentatively on his shoulder, feeling the solid warmth of him beneath the fabric of his shirt.

We're not quite embracing, but it's the closest I've been to another person in a long, long time. I can smell him now—a complex blend of sandalwood and something distinctly spicy, tinged with the salt of exertion. It's intoxicating, and I find myself leaning slightly closer, drawn by some instinct deeper than thought.

"Okay?" Soren asks, his breath warm against my temple.I nod, not trusting my voice. We sway together, our movements simple but somehow more intimate than the more complex dances that came before. In this quieter moment, I become aware of the steady beat of his heart, the subtle expansion of his chest with each breath.

My body relaxes into his, the last of my hesitation melting away like snow in spring sunshine. This closeness, which would have sent me running just weeks ago, now feels like the most natural thing in the world.

"You're full of surprises, Lavender girl," Soren murmurs, his voice a pleasant vibration against my cheek.

"What do you mean?" I ask, pulling back just enough to look up at him.

His purple eyes, unusual and captivating, study me with a warmth that makes my breath catch. "Someone meeting you for the first time might think you're just quiet, reserved. But there's so much more beneath the surface. You're brave."

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