Page 35 of Lavender and Honey

Soren leaned forward slightly, his voice soft but firm. "Lydia, what they did isn’t right…but I know anything I say won’t make you feel better…but we want to be there for you.” I gave a small smile at his kind words.

"I..." I started, then paused, taking a deep breath. "I'm scared," I admitted softly. "The idea of letting people in, of being vulnerable... It terrifies me."

Soren nodded, his expression compassionate. "That's understandable, Lydia. You've been hurt before, and it's natural to want to protect yourself. But I want you to know that if you decide to give us a chance, we will do everything in our power to make you feel safe and cherished."

I felt a lump forming in my throat at Soren's words. The sincerity in his voice, the gentle understanding in his eyes— it was almost overwhelming.

"I don't know if I can," I whispered, my voice trembling slightly. "I've spent so long building walls, protecting myself. The thought of letting them down..."

Soren nodded, his purple eyes soft with understanding. "It's scary, I know. But Lydia, those walls you've built— they don't just keep out the pain. They keep out the joy too. The love, the connection."

His words hit me like a gentle wave, washing over the carefully constructed barriers I'd built around my heart. I felt tears prick at my eyes again, but this time I didn't try to hold them back.

"We're not asking you to tear down all your walls at once," Soren continued, his voice short as he reached forward and whipped away the tears falling down my cheeks.

Soren nodded, his expression thoughtful. “We would never push you to do anything you're not comfortable with. But may I suggest something?"

I nodded hesitantly, curious despite my apprehension.

"Why don't we take things slow?" Soren suggested, his voice gentle. "No pressure, no expectations. Just... get to know each other. All of us. We can start with group outings, maybe some one on one time if you're comfortable. You will be the one to set the pace.”

I felt a flutter of both excitement and fear at Soren's suggestion. The idea of getting to know them better, of potentially opening myself up to something more, was both thrilling and terrifying. But the way Soren phrased it— taking things slow, no pressure— made it seem less daunting.

"I... I think I'd like that," I said softly, my voice barely above a whisper. "Taking things slow sounds good." That and I didn’t want to give up what I had started to build with Elias and the others too… I had the most fun when I was with them…I wanted to keep that in my life. Keep them in my life.

Soren's face lit up with a warm smile, his purple eyes twinkling. "I'm glad to hear that, Lydia. We'll follow your lead, and if at any point you feel uncomfortable or want to slow things down even more, just let us know. We are in this for the long run.”

I nodded, feeling a mix of nervousness swirling in my stomach. "Thank you," I murmured. "For being so understanding."

I hoped that I wouldn’t come to regret this.

Chapter Twenty-Three

The gentle rhythmic clack of my boots on the worn sidewalk echoed softly in the hushed glow of the evening, each sound resonating against the surrounding stillness as I made my way back to my apartment. The city was gradually unwinding into the night— street lights flickering to life with a sleepy glow, spilling long, dancing shadows over the pavement. Every step was laden with the weight of Soren’s words, stirring up a turbulent storm of thoughts inside me.

Take it slow.

His words were both a promise and an invitation, a delicate balance of hope and vulnerability. It was everything I had ever yearned for, yet feared in equal measure. The mere thought of letting someone venture close enough to see the intricate tapestry of scars hidden beneath my meticulously layered defenses was daunting. But Soren, with his intense, perceptive gaze and a demeanor marked by quiet patience, had offered me achance— a gentle opportunity to navigate this uncertain terrain at my own unhurried pace.

By the time I reached the aging brick facade of my apartment building, a familiar veil of solitude had quietly enveloped me. The lobby was steeped in a silent, almost expectant calm, with only the low, persistent hum of the elevator breaking the stillness as I stepped inside and pressed the button for my floor.

Once inside my modest apartment, I carefully unwrapped the soft scarf from around my neck, letting it slip gracefully onto the counter beside my keys. The air in the room was thick with stillness and palpable anticipation, as if it too was waiting on the precipice of an important decision. I already knew what that decision would be.

Avery.

She was far more than a confidante— she was a beacon of clarity amid the chaos of my swirling emotions. With trembling hands that betrayed an undercurrent of nervous energy, I dialed her number and held the phone close to my ear, yearning for the familiar, comforting lilt of her voice.

"Lydia?"Avery answered, her tone immediately soothing, as if wrapping me in a comforting embrace. "Is everything okay?"

"Hi, Avery," I replied hesitantly, pausing to search for the right words amid the torrent of thoughts. "I just… I need to talk."

"Of course… What’s going on?" Her voice, warm and encouraging, was like the gentle press of a reassuring hand on my back, urging me forward.

I swallowed hard, the weight of my thoughts pressing down on me. "I had dinner with Elias and Fin and... met Lucian. I told you about that, right?"

"Yes?" Avery’s voice held a note of genuine interest, a soft curiosity that made me feel both exposed and seen. "I remember you telling me about that…did something go awry after that?He’s head Alpha, so did he forbid Elias and Finn from seeing you?"

I gave a mental shake of my head, even though she couldn’t see my small gestures. "No, nothing like that… I agreed to do the calibration and was planning to meet up with Elias at the farmers market today to go over things…"

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