Page 141 of Lavender and Honey

“When did you have in mind?” I asked, genuinely curious on if he had a plan already formed in his mind.

Lucian leaned a bit back, grey eyes on me, “Whenever you are ready….and willing to take some time off from your store again….cause you may need a few days off.”

Soren nudges me, soft and conspiratorial. "In fact," he says, dropping his voice as if it's a secret, "I think you may even need a week off."

His words send a shiver through me, an electric spark of delight and terror and everything between. They want me here.They want me. It’s enough to fill me to bursting, but it also reminds me of the places I still haven’t let them reach. I am out of breath with them, with all of it, with the idea that their desire matches my own. But more than that, with the hope that I canmatch the ease they wear, that the shyness I still carry can burn off like fog in the light of a new morning.

Finn joins in, his humor so gentle I almost miss it. "We might even let you sleep," he suggests, the laughter a shared thing between us all. I am inside it, part of it, a thread woven tight and warm into a place I've never dared imagine I could fit.

Lucian finally speaks, his practicality a soothing balm on the chaos they leave in their wake. "We could plan it around some time off," he proposes, looking at the others. "Give everyone a chance to get a full week."

It’s a relief, that small act of planning. A counterbalance to the thrill and heat that overwhelms me. It lets me breathe, lets me pretend that there is time enough to find my footing before I leap. But it also shows their certainty, their willingness to wait even though they are already there.

I sink back into the couch, let it cradle me with its warmth and its promise, like the arms that surround me, like the hearts that will it to be. The future they describe is so close, I can almost touch it. I want to reach out, but I’m afraid of breaking it with the truth I have to speak.

The energy shifts as the practical men make practical plans. It's not like me to be surprised by such things, to let them unsettle the comfort I've found. And yet I am. The speed and ease of their arrangements leaves me struggling to catch up, like I'm a guest at a party I haven't dressed for. Lucian takes the lead, like I know he will, his efficiency putting us all to work before I have time to protest. I watch, an outsider to my own decisions, as they make them for me.

Lucian leans forward, elbows on knees, eyes bright with intention. "I’ll talk to work about getting some time off," he begins, each word a step on a path I’m just learning to follow. He’s unflinching, ready to shape the world to our needs. Tomine. I’m not used to such things bending around me. "They’re usually pretty flexible with pack-related stuff."

Elias shifts beside me, the curve of his smile easy, unworried. "We can close the stall for a bit," he adds, like it’s the most natural thing in the world, like everything else. Like me.

Finn chimes in, his voice calm and measured. "We were planning on being away from the market after tomorrow anyway," he says, as if their world has always moved with the kind of grace I find only when I stumble into it.

Soren laughs, the sound warm and conspiratorial. "Already working from home," he reminds us, as if to say he’s the only piece in this puzzle that’s always been where it should.

I let myself drift into their plans, like surrendering to a current that pulls me faster than I know how to swim. They make it so easy, so effortless. I want to hold that ease, even if only for a moment, and wear it like they do.

Lucian meets my eyes, the look of a question and an answer all at once. "We could start next week," he suggests. "Or whenever you're ready."

I try to gather myself, to catch up with their efficiency, but my head spins with the quickness of it all. It’s exhilarating, like rushing downhill with no brakes.

Finn senses my hesitation, gives me a small, reassuring nod. "Just say the word," he encourages. "We’ll work around you."

That thought, that new reality, sits heavy and bright in my chest. I never dreamed of so much being mine, of decisions made and held until I could reach. They’re not what I’m used to. But then, none of this is.

Lucian waits, patient and sure, a smile in his eyes even before I find my own words to agree.

They're all eyes and ears, waiting for me to speak and more than ready to bend themselves to fit whatever I say. It's astrange power, a heavy and unfamiliar gift. I fumble with it, this responsibility I've never learned to carry.

"My shop..." I start, and all of them lean in, the same way I imagine my customers have when they found the door locked and lights out. I’ve been away, I realize, from more than just the store.

"A few days," I finally say, my words feeling both selfish and sure. "To get things in order." Their agreement is too quick, too easy. Too full of everything else they don’t say.

Soren lets out a slow breath, as if the air he's been holding were full of reluctance and maybe a bit of longing. "That makes sense," he says, stretching out the words and the time I’ll be gone.

"Is that what you want?" Elias asks, and I know he means it both ways.

"It’s what I need," I confess, more to myself than them. They take my answer, shape it around the quiet hope I see in their eyes.

Lucian gives a nod, the movement all certainty, all understanding. "We’ll pick up wherever you leave off," he assures me, and I can’t help but laugh at the unspoken second half of his promise. Wherever you leave off, and whenever you come back.

The brief freedom they grant is an unfamiliar gift, but so is the way they gather up my selfishness and cradle it like something precious. It’s not how I’ve lived, with others’ lives wrapped tight around my own. But then, I’ve never lived like this.

Soren sits up, eyes playful and probing. "Think we can manage to get by without you for a couple of days," he says, as though the idea is new to him, the way it still is to me.

I breathe in the room and all its waiting, my resolve bolstered by how strong the pull is. It won't break. Not even when I leave for a little while. Not even when I come back.

Lucian takes the reins, his natural state. "The move," he starts, and I see Elias’ eyes brighten at the sound.

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